Is positivity always helpful.?

[quirkywords]

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time.

I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful.

How can positivity be extreme you may ask? Positivity has a time and place, and if ill timed or relied on in an inappropriate situation, positivity has the potential to be dangerous.

However it can be harmful to relationships, particularly when a person is struggling and their partner pushes them to “look on the bright side” without listening to what they are feeling.

What do you think?
So are ok when someone tells you to look at what you have and not to complain?

Or do you find when you are telling people how you are feeling that they don’t listen and tell you to be grateful, that you get annoyed.

Let me know what you think.

Is there a time and place for positivity?

[quirkywords]

CMF wrote

Sometimes we need people to listen, understand, offer comfort.

That is so true.

Elizabeth

wrote about fake positivity which can be quite damaging.

mmMekitty,

I feel about fires like you do with floods. Thanks for your thoughtful comments.

[Hanna3]

Hi quirky

I knew someone who lost her home in the Black Saturday fires long ago. She moved to another state to get as far away from the memories as possible.

Several years later she missed her community and moved back. It's hard to make big life decisions after a major trauma. I'm sorry to hear about your book shop, that's a huge loss.

We were near the fires and they haven't been forgotten here at least.

It's really interesting to hear your perspective, thanks for that. I'm sure you're still adjusting to it all.

💗

[quirkywords]

I wonder do people get others urging them to be positive about their mental illness. I know this can help but sometimes when we are struggling just an acknowledgement of our obstacles would help rather than telling us to see the rainbows , or to sent memes with photos of cute puppies. Do you the one that has a tag line the best antidepressant and it is a box of cute puppies.

Do others agree with me or am I greeting cynical as I age.

[Mum Chris]

I agree there’s a time and place for positivity. Yes I think there’s too much pressure to say. I’m ok or can only get better from here.
I have definitely been guilty of sending cute puppies BUT in my defence I’m watching cute dogs and babies on YouTube to try and feel some happiness.
I was very ill and on terrible drugs and in so much pain and people around me wanted me to say I got this and smile. I’m violently ill each day skin and hair falling off and infections from low immunity and the pain was terrible. I spoke to others that were in same situation and we were whinging about this treatment and that treatment and the b#$#h nurse or receptionist not a positive word anywhere and we would be laughing. There’s nothing like raw honesty amongst likeminded people.
I think my only true friend is from those days we can talk about anything. I’ve told her my truth and she cried and asked me to please get help.

[Mum Chris]

I should add to previous post not sick now this was a few years ago I was referring too.

[quirkywords]

Mum chris

I like looking at funny uk panel shows fir a laugh when I feel low.

I also like cute animals.
I like your sentence “There’s nothing like raw honesty amongst likeminded people.”. That is so true.”

thanks for your comment

[Guest_1643]

Hi all

I think letting out what u feel in an unfiltered way is really healthy

It helps

I think sometimes making the best of situations is not because ppl are positive but because they feel they are stuck or can't change. Sometimes u have to make the best of what is but sometimes u have to acknowledge that u are not happy with how things are, to grow and move through pain and grief,

Life socks sometimes and ppl can be cruel. This is reality

I don't want ppl to tell me that bad things don't happen, when we clearly live in an unjust, broken world.

It s OK to be upset at times

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

sleepy you wrote,

"I don't want ppl to tell me that bad things don't happen, when we clearly live in an unjust, broken world."

There was a book whose title was something like

When bad things happen to good people.

As you wrote acknowledging thatlife is a struggle and you cant be happy now, will help one deal with grief and loss.

I find it so sad when people giving a speech at a funeral of a loved one, apologise for crying and sometimes being unable to finish the speech. To me that is what I would expect, why do they feel a pressure to apologise for tears.

I

[CMF]

Hi Quirky and all reading,

I love this topic. Just yesterday I was talking with my teenage daughter & I pointed out no amount of positivity can change a fact ie if a person were gravely ill, being positive will not change this or the prognosis. I struggle with this with my partner cos he doesn't get it, just positive all the time & it's not helpful. We both have Covid currently. Each day we text/ check in with each other. I tell him I feel crap he tells me he's not bad. When we speak on the phone he sounds crap, tells me he's tired, aching joints. So to me,his messages saying he's not too bad are a lie. He thinks it's better to keep it positive but it doesn't change the fact that he feels crap. This 'dishonesty'means I don't see the 'really' him. I'd rather see the real side of the situation, not the bs side. We have Covid - fact. We feel crap- fact. No amount of positivity can change this, so just be honest.

Cmf x

[Guest_1643]

Hi all,

That is sad , quirky, when ppl feel embarrassed of crying and being vulnerable.

I think some notions of positivity jnvolve denying one's feelings

Positivity can be quite useless.

Looking on the bright side isn't always so easy.

I thi k gratitude is important, my grandmother always told me she chooses to be grateful for what she's given and feel at peace.

I tend to be a glass half empty person, and see potential issues and problems in everything

I could work on this, but I don't know that either extreme is so good.

Maybe balance is key?