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I really want to change
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Hi Kirk86,
Thank you for posting and sharing your story! I think realising that a change is needed is very brave and you have definitely made the very first step!
It also sounds like alcohol is very much tied to your social life and connections so it can be very hard to give it up completely. Are your partner, parents and friends aware that you are hoping to cut down your drinking? It might be a good to approach the topic with them and ask for their support eg they don't have to give up drinking either but perhaps one or two dry nights instead?
Setting realistic goals always help too. Perhaps starting with reducing number of nights out by 1 night a week or even number of drinks by 1 per occasion?
Another tip would be to find alternative activities you could enjoy with your loved ones which do not involve alcohol eg bowling, going out for movies etc.
Hope this helps!
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Hello Kirb86
Acknowledging there is a problem & wanting to change are the first, most important, steps.
when I quit drinking I didn't have the same social pressure that one feels when it seems everyone around them is drinking. I, too, would suggest talking to the people closest to you about what you want to do, to ask them to please, at least, not expect you to drink when they are. They need to respect your decision & not put any pressure on you to join in. - having alcohol ought not be required for joining in, just as not wanting to eat meat should exclude a vegetarian from the dinner tabee.
Other places where the people there are not known to you are more difficult to feel comfortable in, although I have been to pubs & hotels for lunch & have had coffee, milkshake, juice, or simply water with no-one making any fuss about it.
I accept that at formal functions I am going to feel uncomfortable when it is expected that I will join in a toast & have a glass of wine placed in front of me. I can go through the motions of having a sip, & not sip, & feel like there is a spotlight on me, letting everyone know I didn't drink or refuse the drink & ask for water instead ... ? I don't get much of a chance to do that, being blind, not seeing when someone is going around placing wine in front of everyone.
I've been friends with people who simply refused to respect my choice not to drink alcohol, & sadly, it has led me to say 'good-bye' to those friends. Other friends I've had have been more understanding & supportive.
The most important & useful tip I can give is to have a damn good reason which you can stick into proverbial concrete. My reason was because I knew, on a certain med, the alcohol would have had a more debilitating effect & would then lead me to more & more drinking, so I thought better safe than sorry. I accepted the med & quit the drinking. Just knowing what continueing would likely mean for me & my health. Very scary.
All the best,
Hugzies
mmMekitty
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I want to change as well. I'm trying to take things slowly and make sure I make little progress.
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I gave up drinking in my late 20s when I realised it was doing my mental health absolutely no favours.
A few acquaintances found it hard to understand, but close friends didn't care that much. Honestly that probably more to do with me being more open about my reason with my close friends rather than "I don't want to" with everyone else.
I guess what I'm trying to say is just be honest, there is more and more people going sober now.
You've got this!