Healing - what does it look like for you?

[ecomama]

Hi everyone

My psych friend sent me this from @heidipriebe..

It shows What we think healing will look like then has a FULL circle coloured in with a "Meditating peacefully" label.

Then What healing actually looks like with a 5 sector circle: in no particular order....
* "Having Difficult Conversations"
* "Taking Radical Responsibility For Your Actions"
* "Implementing Healthy Routines"
* "Setting & Enforcing Boundaries"
* "Unpacking Trauma"

wow.

How are you going in your Healing journey?

Please share what's working for you.

Love EM

[quirkywords]

Thanks EM for this topic.

I think healing is a personal journey and not of all us will need to achieve all 5 criteria to achieve healing.

I find crying healing this year after my way of life destroyed by the fires, for me healing maybe sitting with my grandchild and enjoying sinisng songs together, it maybe going for a walk and looking at flowers, it maybe excited to find a book at the local op shop that was one I used to own.

Healing is different for all and I suppose it depends on in part in what you are healing.

I am interested in how others respond to your thread.

Thanks Quirky

[ecomama]

Thanks Quirky

There was a gentleness and joy to your signs of healing.

Crying is underrated. During times of grief, loss, trauma, disappointment, betrayal some people think they should just cope and "be okay".

This is denying our very humanity and the depth of our hurt.

Crying is healing and allowing ourselves to cry can be part of our own self-care IMHO.

I can feel the healing in myself physically. It's tangible. I'm enjoying the feelings of joy I have throughout my day.

EM

[ecomama]

Hey blondguy Paul

Is this the thread you asked about?

If not let me know! lol

EM

[Tay100]

Hi ecomama

Thanks for posting here, I really appreciate it! I also think healing involves self-compassion and being kind to ourselves when we slip up from the healing process. This can include engaging in positive dialogues, seeking reassurance, and implementing routines to help us get back on track, ready to reengage and do the hard work.

Tay100

[ecomama]

I agree Tay100!

Sleepy21 put me onto Kristen Neff and her talks on self compassion. She speaks so beautifully and makes a lot of sense too!

I was both surprised and delighted to hear that sufferers of PTSD were most likely to heal if they practiced self compassion, self care and stayed socially engaged. VERY interesting.

We absolutely do need to be kind to ourselves. If we treated ourselves like our own best friend would, I'm sure we'd feel a whole lot better.

I guess a REALLY trusted friend would also pull us up if we're going awry too lol.

My journey towards improved MH has taken discipline.

I'd also say it's taken "sacrifices" too. We need to invest time for therapy and work in between sessions. It costs money too for therapists and meds for some.

It can be disheartening when our first and following attempts at improving our mental health don't work but if we keep seeking, we have a far better chance of getting there.

EM

[Tay100]

Hi ecomama

I really the endquote- the fact that you must keep trying (safely and productively, of course), even when times get tough. For example, lockdown and COVID-19, in general, is rough but we have to make the most of it. Persistence is key- and discipline, as you say- and it looks different for each of us at any given time. Some great food for thought here!

[ecomama]

Hi Tay100 and anyone else reading!

Any of your hints, tricks and tips for improving our MH is most welcome!

During our lock down here I found the "lines" our days were blurred. Having a new, even a vague, routine helped.

This can be the same for people living alone or people without employment I've noticed.
The days can blur.

Having a vague routine is a great start.
Like meal times & bed times.
Then inserting more structure to our days like a walk & reaching out to others on the BB forums. Texting or calling a friend or family member perhaps.

Today I realised that relaxation is a key thing for mental HEALTH too.
I bought myself a 90c bottle of fizzy to drink this afternoon with ice and some lime juice lol!
SO RELAXING drinking it in the garden and watching nature.

Taking "time off" is really important and something I need to do more often.

"We teach best what we most need to learn" LOL!

EM

[Emmen]

Hello ecomama,

This is an interesting thread!

My personal healing journey has been about acceptance (about everything that happened) and to stop blaming myself or putting pressure on myself to control the things I have no control over. Since the COVID lockdowns, I also discovered the importance of relaxation, just taking time off to do the things I love without worrying about everything else. It's amazing how that shifted my entire perspective on life just because I took that time off.

Cheers,
M

[ecomama]

Hey Emmen

Love your contribution!

Acceptance wow. So true.

How did you get to 'acceptance'?

Putting blame where it belongs is a big one.
I felt so responsible for things I didn't do but that harmed others I loved.... many levels of society from the perps to Courts to family, even to my Specialist Trauma psych (who I sacked btw lol) WANT to put blame on the victims.
That's abuse.
Maybe it worked for a few centuries but NOT any more.

The guilt we can feel can be overwhelming - was for me at the time.
Others' attitudes compounded the grief and guilt.
Now if it surfaces, I tell them straight.

If it all creeps back in to my "shame forest" I visualise handing it all BACK to the perps in a box lol!
I won't tell you what I visualise that box DOING but I have a giggle.

I also forgive.
Never forget and say "that was okay", but forgive as in hand it back.

Any tips on how you do this Emmen?

EM