--->>> OTT --- Old Thought Thoughts! <<<---

[SourceShield]

Greetings!

This post is about LIMITING-BELIEFS, or as me and my brother Matt now call them, Old Thought Thoughts - OTT.

---

This post will most likely not appeal to many people, because I am writing about our beliefs that we have about life and ourselves, that we all have had for much of our life.

Our beliefs are personal, and yet oddly the 'same' as well.

---

There is a school of thought that teaches us that when we identify the OTT i.e. I am unlovable.

Relate to the OTT, rather than from it.

We can then release the attachment to the OTT, as well as the aversion to the OTT.

For example -

A child is told that they are no good, useless and worthless, every other day.

-sadly, this is a story often told, by many.

As this child grows a set of OTT have been programmed into the mind-body of the now grown adult-child.

I am no good.

I am useless.

I am worthless.

etc etc etc

The adult-child now has an attachment to the OTT.

But also you would see an aversion to those OTT as well.

I am no good <- the attachment.

And, I hate that I am no good <- the aversion. The judgement for having the OTT in the first place, keeps us attached to the OTT.

---

Not all beliefs are limiting.

All beliefs are fluid.

They are mutable - liable to change, as all things in existence are!

But...

How do we release the OTT?

Thats what we're most interested in!.

I am going to share a few things of how I am learning to release all of the OTT that once ruled my life, and would love to read yours as well!.

1) Refer to the OTT being in the past. If we keep on affirming the OTT in the present moment, it stays in the present moment. By writing and talking about the OTT being in the past, youre correcting the memory. REWIRE!

2) I AUGMENT positive memories. Whatever they are, whenever they happened. This is why I actively look for things to be thankful and grateful for. Appreciation, heals! And thats now science...if youre interested in the research about this, let me know!

3) I have learned to ask for help, and to RECEIVE it graciously, whenever it comes to me. And, it always does.

4) I SMILE and LAUGH more. Theres research for this too!

5) I have changed my eating habits. I EAT WELL now. I am now on the Guts and Psychology Syndrome foodplan GAPS. I used to be obese. No more.

6) I EXPRESS in healthy ways - dance, music, write..

7) I take time out to LOVE - my family, friends, my dog bundy, nature..

REMEMBERING to LOVE is a biggie!.

And, whatta 'bout you?...

[SourceShield]

Good Morning!

And, may I just 'say' to you all, You're All Amazing.

We all are.

I mean that!

---

BrotherMatt ---

You wrote -

"New positive thoughts

I can help others

Because I have experience, heart and I'm a good and loving person".

Awesome - What I have learnt is that once we 'upload' a new positive thought (NPT), we must then do something in 'active' affirmation of the NPT - in that we must now do something that supports the NPT.

i.e.

"I can help others" <- NPT

Reaching out on BB, or volunteering at a shelter etc, or simply asking a friend - R U OK? <- activates the NPT.

I see that you are already doing this, Matt!

Keep going brother!

These 'activities' are ways that we actively move towards the NPT.

They dont have to be overtly physical things, thats not whats meant, but an active thought processing.

That is repeated in our day to day life.

This creates positive and active neural-pathways, and thats when its 'sunk in'.

And, thats what we want.

Because, when the proverbial hits the fan, we can then 'call upon' these positive patterns to help us navigate through the muck and muddy moments.

Does this make sense to you brother?

---

Kazza McSnazza!

I love seeing you in the forums, your energy and even your pic reminds me of an aunt, that I love!.

I hope that doesnt offend you, I mean that as a compliment.

She is a beautiful soul, as you are.

You wrote -

"Firstly, now that I don't just accept that beliefs of old (eg I'm not worthy of love) are true, I find that when they pop up I can't always just override them because I get stuck trying to analyse and work out where they came from in the first place. Why do I think the things I think?"

Rumination is a big hurdle to get over - I feel that, Rumination, is an important topic for all of us to discuss.

So, I will write another full post about this, is that okay?

You also wrote -

"Secondly, Kaitoa you mention 'it's the pleasant and good feelings that most of us are hooked on'. I'm not certain about that .. I think sometimes depression can be seductive, I guess because it's a familiar place for many of us. Do you know that song 'Somebody that I used to know'? There's a line in it 'You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness ...".

Love that song.

Totally dig what you are saying here.

Thank you so much for raising these topics here on this thread!.

This also deserves more respect in reply, as well.

Is that also cool ?

---

I will wait for your replies.

Peace

[SourceShield]

Morning Dools!

Thank you for popping in!

You take good care of yourself.

We'll be here anytime you wanna join in on the discussion.

MuchLove&Wellness for you!

---

Mary!

Thank you as well, for joining us!

I'm so glad that you decided to forge on and play the piano, in spite of what you were told.

That actually made me LOL, when you wrote that, you were told that we stop learning at 30yrs!

Thats still making me laugh.

Ignorance is bliss, for some, it seems.

But thankfully youre too 'clever' for that kinda nonsense!.

...still laughing...

What an idiotic thing to say!

Bless them.

Okay, Ive calmed down now.

If I can make an observation...

Mary, you seem very well 'versed' in Mindfulness - I would really appreciate as many tips, and, 'hacks' as the 'kids' call it these days, about Mindfulness, that you can share with us!

---

I was introduced to Mindfulness Integrated Cognitive Behaviour Therapy ( MiCBT)

About 6 years ago, by an fantastic psych in Cairns.

At first I totally rejected it.

Seemed ridiculous, and foreign as well, all at the same time.

Body Scanning mumbo jumbo!

Compassion and Loving-Kindness...like blah blah blah!

But, she is a very patient psych, and eventually I got the 'hang' of it, as best I could.

---

My issues with meditation, turn out to be a very common issues that many of us experience with it.

Here are a couple of my 'flimsy' excuses to not meditate -

Can anyone else relate?

"Not having enough time" <- EXCUSE.

If something is that important we always find time for it, right?.

Thats a global human behaviour trait - if its important, we can always 'create' the time.

So, if learning to meditate, in order to be healthier and happier, or whatever it is that's important to others here, is important, we can always 'find' the time to meditate.

"I cant stop my thoughts from going around and around' <- EXCUSE.

We arent here to STOP thoughts.

Technically impossible, unless ya dead.

Its all about thought-acceptance, rather than thought-judgement and/or thought-rejection.

I follow a teaching by, TARA BRACH - amazing Mindfulness teacher!

The teaching is called, R.A.I.N - for those keen to learn more about Mindfulness, look her up!

Free Podcasts.

Youtube channel.

Books.

---

I would love to read and learn about how others have experienced mediation etc.

What has worked for you?

---

I do hope that you're all having a wonder filled day, but if not know that we are here for each other.

MuchLove.

[1113]

Good afternoon,

I'm understanding more about myself every day.

Rumination is a huge problem for me. After I do something I think about it over and over. Is it right? Or am I wrong? It's doubt, deep deep down.

I would really appreciate more info on how to deal with this.

Matt

[Kazzl]

Cool indeed indeed.

I am happy to remind you of your aunt; at least you didn't say grandmother! LOL. (No offence to yours or anyone else's grandmothers of course, just an age thingy.)

Yes, rumination is certainly something that needs considerable thought ... over and over and over and ... 😊

And thank you for the ideas on reinforcing NPTs with actions. That makes a lot of sense, I will give it a try.

Hope you (and Bundy) are having a good day. It's a good one in my buzzy head today (that's buzzy as in still a bit hypo, not buzzy as in what Kiwis say when they mean busy. Same same though I guess.)

Cheers

Kaz

[topsy_]

Hello everyone

I have been reading & following for a couple of days now. It has been very instructive.

My OTT, which for the life of me I can't conquer & change, is - "I am a bad person". And everything that goes wrong happens because of that.

Case in point, early last week our new 5 month old dog got parvo & the vet said he only had a 50/50 chance of survival.

My husband's reaction was to hope & pray like mad Ted (the dog) would survive.

My reaction -Ted was going to die because I love him & because I'm bad I deserve to have something/one taken off me as punishment for being so bad.

I can't tell you how long I've been trying to change, but I'm not making any progress. And I'm 60 now & I wonder if it's worth the effort?

Lyn.

PS Ted is 100% better now.

[SourceShield]

Hey Folks!
I mentioned in a previous post that I would share about rumination.

This also works for worry-thoughts, and negative automatic thoughts.

---

1) Just Breathe!.

But learn how to breathe properly.

Most of us dont.

Theres a reason that its the 'top' need of the body.

But, how many times have we all heard this?

89 trillion times, if youre anything like me - I used to hold my breath alot.

All the OTT are now perceived threats.

And this still causes tension in the body.

When I was stressed I would hold my breath and clench my fists, my legs would become tense as well.

But then I began to recognise that if I exhaled as slowly as I could, as soon as I felt the tension in my body -

the clenched fists, my tense legs - And then inhaled.

I would return to calmness swifter and I would then be better able to navigate myself through the 'moment', however, big or small, or tough or easy, that moment is.

i.e.

You feel tension in your body - from rumination.

Exhale - Slowly. Go right to the end of that breath.

Swallow any leftover air - you'll feel your core-muscles activate. YES - we all have them, not just the athletes.

Inhale - Deeply. Repeat - for the rest of your life!.

This technique will feel odd and funny to start off with because you're not used to deep cyclic breathing. Which is what this is!.

Many indigenous cultures teach this breathing technique, from Japan - in Martial Arts Training, to India with Meditation, to here in OZ in Indigenous Aboriginal cultures.

---

2) Dont stress!

How many times have we all been told this?

Easier said than done.

Technically impossible!

The Human Body is designed to handle all types of stress, and now the mind is leading the way in helping us to deal with emotional stress - not something that our ancestors from back in the caves were overly 'au fait' with!.

But our emotions pretty much play a role in everything we do.

So its more-so about how we manage worry-thoughts, because its gonna happen.

And, about how we navigate our way through the emotional weather systems, that we all live with, within.

These are a few things I do -

1) I do the Birds-Eye Technique - Do you know this one?

2) Self-Soothing Techniques.

3) I give into the moment - Sometimes the proverbial, just hits the fan.

I accept. Do what I can for damage control!.

How do you folks manage stress in your life?

What hacks have you learned to 'weather' some of your emotionally stormy moments?

ThanksFolks!.

Peace.

[1113]

Hi Lyn and everybody,

Nice to meet you lyn,

Ted......nice that he recovered. Pets are like family.

Im just going to share 1 OTT ( my tablet wants to auto correct that).

Perfectionism:

everything has to be perfect for me, but in my eyes only. This isn't all bad. In cooking and restoration it has its advantages.

this is a hard one for me. I can't let it go and replace that thought. I think I will have to sand it back a bit, kneed it into a bun or infuse it with some other flavour.

Any thoughts on that one?

Oh and Lyn....you are worth it, age is just a number.

Food talk makes me hungry

Have a delicious night

Matt.

[White_Rose]

Hello all you lovely folk

Meditation is more my thing but mindfulness is a close second. I would like to take you up on your comments, Kaitoa about excuses for not meditating. In general we find time to do what we want and that includes all our activities whether we like them or not. E.g. I must cook tea tonight or the family will go hungry and so you cook even though you are like me and dislike cooking. This is part of our responsibilities and desire to do good for the people we love. These are general statements, not absolutes.

So why do we miss out on learning something new or making time for something we enjoy? I think it is fear. What if I cannot master the task/activity/job and people laugh at me. What if it makes me a loony? I knew someone who believed meditation would cause her to have a fit. Amazing! What if it made a difference in my life and I changed the way I operate. Wow!

Meditation does change your life if you let it. I have met those who proclaim they cannot meditate because they go to sleep, start thinking of other things, get bored etc. etc. Yes, all these things happen. Meditation is not like a new language and when you know it there is no more to learn. It needs to be practised every day, preferably twice a day. It's not learning to sit still and say your mantra that is the hard work, it's the faithful practice every day of meditating. Once you commitment yourself to daily meditation you are on the path. Returning every day, regardless of how yesterday's meditation went.

This is the real secret of meditation. Find a place in your home that is reserved for meditation, somewhere you feel comfortable. Have a seat that keeps your spine as upright as possible and where your feet sit firmly on the floor. Rest your hands in your lap or on your knees, whichever feels comfortable and relax.

When I am facilitating a group, especially the first few times, I go through a simple muscle tensioning and release process that takes a couple of minutes. Close your eyes lightly and repeat your mantra silently in your mind. I have a CD that plays a minute or two of music then has 20, 25, or 30 minutes of silence. Start with 20 minutes and let your mind repeat the mantra. At the end of the time the music starts up quietly and you can open your eyes. Sit for a few moments and experience the feelings in your body, then get up. Sometimes it is amazing, other times not much. Others will notice the change before you do.

Will write more if you wish.

Mary

[SourceShield]

Hi Lyn,

Thanks for joining us with this chat about OTT!

Im glad to read that Ted is well.

---

You wrote -

"My OTT, which for the life of me I can't conquer & change, is - "I am a bad person". And everything that goes wrong happens because of that".

What a horrible OTT to live your life by, Lyn.

I can feel just how much pain having an OTT like that causes.

And, you even have the 'proof'.

DR Phil calls that the 'pay off', right?

I am a bad person <-the attachment to the OTT

And everything that goes wrong is all your fault because you are being punished. <-the aversion to that OTT.

The punishment is the pay off, because its supports the OTT.

Our beliefs will always come true for us.

Whatever we believe about ourselves, will always find a way of manifesting in our life, because we have trained the brain, and the whole body-mind to seek out experiences that support the OTT.

This is also true for NPT, as well.

As Kaz has rightfully mentioned, we are addicted to not just the good times, but certain kinds of sadness, grief, fear, pride, lust, envy, anger.

We are addicted to all of our 'feelings'.

For good or for bad, we are hooked on the feelings...theres a song in there somewhere...

Remember that which we call feelings on the outside, are merely chemical reactions going off on the inside of the body.

Lyn, it really is a horrible negative feedback-loop.

I feel for you, and I would like to offer as much assistance as I can to support you, as we do our best to release this OTT, because I too can relate, and perhaps others too, so we can do this together, is that okay?

Our feelings are valid, and we will get through this!

When things go well - We wait to be punished.

When things go badly - We remind ourselves that this is what we deserve for being such a bad person.

I know this OTT all too well.

---

Heres what I have learnt -

Technically, we're very 'normal', for having this belief.

We are not all good, nor all bad, all of the time.

We are a complex bio-organic mechanism, living life in a very complicated world.

It is possible to detach ourselves from OTT.

It takes sincere practise.

Some of these OTT have been floating about inside of us for well over two to three, to four and beyond, decades worth of time, and energy, has been 'invested' into creating and forming and sustaining these OTT, so it takes sincere practise to reverse the effects.

Are you willing to do that practise?

I will wait for your response.

MuchLove&Joy.

[SourceShield]

Matt,

I have observed that you're really into food imagery.

As a Chef - that makes perfect sense!.

You're also into restoration, as a hobby.

Due to that, perhaps we could use imagery from both of these arts - The Art of Cooking, and The Art of Restoration, as a means to reverse-engineer the attachment to the OTT of Perfectionism.

BTW - You are definitely not alone with that one!.

The way that I was taught to see cooking, when I trained as a Chef, was that being a Chef is like being an Artist, and a Scientist, all at the same time.

We mix different herbs, spices, flavours, just like an artist uses colour or a scientist uses chemicals etc, and we end up with a curry, or a birthday cake.

The perfection is found in the prep and planning, but not always in the outcome.

In that, we can only ever be doing our best, and sometimes in life, things dont always go according to plan, right?.

The oven was opened, or the temp wasnt right, or the curry is left on for too long.

For a cook that means starting all over again, usually.

So, we do that.

With perfectionism usually there is a focus on the outcome, being the perfect thing that we are wishing to achieve, rather than the process, the journey is where true perfection is found.

Im saying that having this OTT is futile, as youve recognised, because some things will never ever be in our complete control.

Just not possible to have 100% control.

And, so it is to be merely human - the desire to control, because we fear change.

The most primal fear of them all.

Thats what this is deep down - a need to feel like we are in control of our life, or at least one part of it.

Because we know we have very little of it.

This is a natural human OTT.

So, now to restoration...

Just as one might have to strip away layers, or coats of paint, so too is this like releasing OTT.

Dont expect things to look pretty, when you first recognise the OTT.

Be gentle with yourself, just as you would with what youre restoring.

Practise OTT releasing techniques, daily.

Just like we find times for our hobbies, letting go of OTT must also be an important part of our overall health plan.

Recognise when youve done really well - reward and praise yourself, often!.

Find like-minded people for community support.

These are just a few things that I do...what about everyone else?

What has worked for you?

---NPT---

"I am enough just as I am.

I love life, and life loves me".

...now we must move towards these NPT!.

MuchLove.