Excellent way to beat post-retirement depression

Quiettall · ‎12-08-2016

This year I have embarked on two separate placements (one of 3 months and one of 9 weeks) doing voluntary overseas aid work. The reasons I embarked on this were that I was bored, still had lots of energy and initiative, love travel, but could not afford to pay for travel. So in doing this work, I have found my previous skills have been put to use, I have learnt lots of new skills, completely refocussed my thinking from internal self-pity to working with those in other countries who really value your contribution. You have the choice of a short few weeks assignment through to a longer 18 month to 2 year stay.

As I am married, and my wife does not understand the need to have a positive, creative life, I have chosen two shorter stays. Both times I have made great friends, learnt lots about myself and how to manage my own mental state, and had lots of support (financial, medical, psychological) from the agencies who posted me. It is a great life but there is some adjustment to take place both pre-posting, during the posting and after arriving back home from living in another culture for a period of time.

I highly recommend the experience, as it opens your eyes to a new world and a new way of thinking about yourself, the life you have in Australia, and how you can use even the most basic skills to help others in countries like Vietnam, Phillipines, Pacific Islands, Nepal etc etc.

blondguy · ‎12-08-2016

Hello Quiettall

What a selfless and wonderful post! I really admire what you have been doing voluntary overseas work using your life experience and good on you big time 🙂

If its okay to ask....why doesn't your wife understand the positive steps you have taken in your life? I have had acute anxiety and now depression since 1983 and am trying to help others by being here on Beyond Blue.

I was made redundant in January this year and flying would be a serious hurdle to overcome but I respect and admire the contribution you have been making in your post retirement years.

My kind thoughts

Paul

Doolhof · ‎13-08-2016

Hi Quitetall,

Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful story with us.

Do you find that when you return home, you hit a bit of a low for a while?

It must be difficult to keep feeling euphoric for what you have done when your wife does not understand your feelings and your need to be of help to others in such an amazing way.

Are there volunteer experiences you can have in your own "backyard" so to speak in-between your overseas trips?

Is it possible for you to connect with people of say a Vietnamese ancestry in your region, even if it is to dine in a Vietnamese restaurant to experience their food once more.

Can you take all of this one step further and give talks to people sharing your experiences?

I greatly admire everyone who gives of their time in any capacity to help others, animals, the environment and so on.

I live out in the country in a bush fire region. The last three years we have had quite severe fires in our region. People have formed different groups to help others.

There are a bunch of "Grey Nomads" who travel around helping out where they can. There is also a group called "Blaze Aid" that step in and do all kinds of things to help people.

A little compassion goes a long way!

Thanks again for sharing your story with us!

Cheers to all from Mrs. Dools

Cold_Mirror · ‎17-08-2016

I loved reading about what you've done. I'm sorry that your wife doesn't really get your need to have meaningful work.

What fantastic experience and such a generous act as well.

As an older person, this opens a window to me.

Quiettall · ‎10-10-2016

Hello

I am thrilled that my post has inspired you. I have thought long and hard about my experiences on aid assignments, compared to a rather dreary retirement. I cannot resist the temptation to return and do more work so have logged in to be available for more assignments. I wish you all the best as well and hope you can do something that is both personally meaningful and rewarding to those for whom you serve

Regards

Peter

Doolhof · ‎12-10-2016

Hi Peter,

Hope you do manage to be chosen for another assignment.

All the best to you!

Quiettall · ‎14-10-2016

Thank you. I would really love to do another assignment. I am hungering for some real inspirational activity, as I am finding just staying home so mind numbing. The garden and relaxing with my partner is ok, but it goes nowehre near enough to keeping the brain active and enthused. My partner does not understand why I feel this way. She is happy just to sit, watch TV, go shopping and go from one medical appointment to another. As a 58 year old, I feel she is behaving more like an 80 year old, and virtually signed off from life, which to me is wrong. We both are relatively good health, well-off and able to travel, so I cant understand why she wouldnt like to give of herself (she has so many skills, such as craft, interior design, and cooking) that would be useful in some of these assignments that we could share together.

Anyway, onward and upward. Being Mental Health Week, I am finding ways to turn this frustration into positives by seeking ways to connect with other returned volunteers, to build a network, and to seek opportunities to address local Service Clubs to let them know of the great work we can do as retired people with our neighbouring countries.

white knight · ‎14-10-2016

Hi Quietall

Well done in doing your overseas work.

Re: "My partner does not understand why I feel this way. She is happy just to sit, watch TV, go shopping and go from one medical appointment to another. As a 58 year old, I feel she is behaving more like an 80 year old, and virtually signed off from life, which to me is wrong".

What I do with these sorts of differences is not to make distinctive judgements of others viewpoints. Your partner is your partner, she (or he) has lived their life and has a certain personality that dictates their own pathway. It isn't that these people are living the life if an 80yo but living the life that they are content with.

There is an element of security in remaining at home, shopping at ones regular shops and being in familiar places. Whereas for me as an example (and the wonderful blondeguy), you wouldn't get me in a plane let alone a strange country.

I'm advocating some mutual regard for each others vastly different ways of living your life.

Anyway, your efforts overseas is a great act. Hats off to you.

Tony WK

Quiettall · ‎17-10-2016

Thanks Tony.

I do respect my partner's viewpoint and accept that is the way she want s to live. So long as she understands that I have too much energy and things I want to do with my life to do same. We can accommodate each others' positions...I have seen many others do it. So will continue on with progress.

Cheers

Peter

Doolhof · ‎17-10-2016

Hi All,

As I am in-between employment at present and really have no idea where I will work next, I am enjoying some volunteer work.

Today I assisted with the Riding for the Disabled. It didn't all go to plan! The horse I was leading without a rider, decided he would have a roll while wearing his saddle. I had no control over the horse, he did what he wanted. Another lady had to run in and grab the reins so the horse would get up.

I put my first ever saddle on a pony and managed to buckle that up wrong. Oh dear. Think I need a bit more instruction! The volunteer co-ordinator was not present today.

Returned home and my husband was annoyed I had not picked up his parcel from the P.O. No one had told me there was a parcel to pick up! Next Monday I think I will spend the whole day at the Riding for the Disabled and not return home at lunch time!

My husband doesn't understand volunteering much!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools