emotional resolutions

[joey]

My new years resolution always used to be 'to be better'. That was when I was unwell. It was a terrible resolution because although the sentiment was good it wasn't really something I could control and I always failed. I guess maybe when I finally did get better I achieved it but even that year failed a few times along the way.

So what have I learnt...??? Apparently nothing! This year my resolution was to be happy. Again great sentiment but really - what is that as a resolution.

I think the concept of a new years resolution is wrong. We are to vague. And will always fail. We should be setting new years goals. Such as

- Each week I will do at least one activity that if for myself and I enjoy doing. I will take the time to do this and to do it mindfully.

- I will go on three trips with family and friends (or alone) so I have some memories or experiences for 2014. Even if the trips are not good at least I will of seen something, done something or learnt something.

- I will enrol in at least one self education course because completing a course is good for my self esteem.

Etc. etc. Soo... it's only 11am do you think it's too late to redo my resolutions. What did others resolve?

[amamas]

Happy New Year Joey

Never too late to change after all it's you so your rules!

Brilliant resolutions by the way!!

I'm still resolving....

Peace

[Jo3]

Hey Joey

I agree wit you - all my new years resolutions failed because I never achieved it.

I would love to do a few things this year but I'm scared, really scared of changes.

I would like to a course on teachers aid - i love kids 

definitely going on holidays with hubby and weekend away (hoping for 2 this year)

would love to be happy, healthy and fit

Jo

[Pixie15]

Hi Joey,

Happy new year. I think you are on the right track with the resolutions.

I set goals last year as part of CBT. I have decided my resolution this year will be to continue to work on and revise those goals as needed. I was advised to use a SMART goal setting process. Meaning that the goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timed. 

I saw a car sticker today that said being happy is a choice which  irritated me at first. But thinking about it after reading your post I think it could be quite rational to have an overarching emotional resolution of being happy and then setting more practical goals to achieve this.

I hope you have a good year and achieve your being happy resolution from last year.

Cheers.

[Neil_1]

Hey Joey

Welcome to 2014 … I kind of refrain from saying “happy new year” as that all depends on the situation of the person … happiness can be a hard object to achieve, it sure can.

I’m not a resolution person … never really felt the necessity for them and quite often, they are so easily broken.  Just try to be true to yourself throughout the year.

But for those who make resolutions (and let’s face it, there’d be thousands upon thousands, so I’m in the big minority here), they should be made as achievable goals.  As you came back on and alluded to, make little goals that you KNOW you can achieve.  Then provide yourself a reward (if you like) for ticking that goal off.

When going away on holidays, don’t forget the camera, so you can freeze frame those moments, or those special things you saw.  I write a personal diary every day of my life, but could I suggest if it is a special holiday somewhere, why not take an exercise book with you (wow, I’m sounding old now … perhaps you could actually take a lap top) and either write down in your book or type up things that you did at the end of each day.  Where you went, what you saw, perhaps what you ate?  So then you’ll have those memories in years to come as well.

But yes, there’s no hard and fast rules with resolutions … they’re yours to bend and manipulate as you wish … so yes, go ahead and rejig your earlier resolutions.  Set as many or as little as you want to and then feel a sense of achievement as you tick things off your ‘to do’ list.

Hope this has helped out a little.

Cheers

Neil