Why is this mental illness thing so hard? Why do we feel worthless (one of the most commonly used words on beyondblue) a burden or disrespected?
Among all of our ill feelings we do share one common feeling with those with physical disabilities. ..a feeling that we are at the mercy of other people. Unless we choose to live a hermit life alone, we are at their mercy to understand us otherwise we have to "carry our own cross" and that is difficult for us. Why is this?
Having a mental illness robs us of some basic human abilities like normal sleep patterns and sleep quality, mental or emotional strength to face society, robustness to counter the evil of people from watching them on TV or to your spouse, ability to handle personal finances or just to function as a typical member of society.
Lets face it, we need people. But more often than others we need the right kind of people to surround ourselves with to survive in peace. Once we've done that we are then at their mercy because they will know you value them, rely on them highly.
That's all ok. Let us accept that that is how things are. But are those of which you lean on so much...are they fully happy.? Some people when relying on others, begin to expect such support ongoing and it wouldnt be abnormal to slip into this support in a prolonged manner of expectation.
We might be at anothers mercy, but we should always respect their commitment and try even in tokenism, to balance such generosity.
My wife and l often have picnics. She has depression, me bipolar and depression. I take the opportunity to thank here for her patience and understanding. She'll thank me for being a good man. However, its sad to hear from some friends that such gestures never happens in their relationship.
Its dangerous to judge others. Every couple has their own way of showing love and appreciation.
If you dont show it- do so.
Being at someones mercy can be repaid with a garden flower with a note. Yes it isnt our fault for being emotionally challenged but it isnt their fault they carry the bags of rocks of which is your burden.
How do you show gratitude to your partner/friend/carer?.
Tony WK
