Part of me gets up because I don't want others (incl. family) to know what I am feeling - a mask? Though where you refer to a shower, I might refer to my IT job. And it takes time to want to enjoy life rather than the alternative. Looking how far you have come, rather than how you are from the goal line. Mental health apps? You can also look at the threads on grounding and mindfulness on the forums here. There are many things you can try - ideas I have used thanks to my psychologist.
I am interested in hearing more of your story,