Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Allowing yourself to be happy

Community Member
Does anyone else struggle with this?  I live from one mental slap in the face to the next, but I have times when I am happy - fleeting , but they are there.  It might be as simple as hearing something on the radio that makes me laugh, or watching a child have fun.  But almost as soon as I recognise that i am happy, I feel incredibly guilty about feeling that way, like I am not allowed to feel that way or by feeling happy I am obviously not taking the rest of my life seriously enough , or something like that.  I envy people that can take a holiday and sit by a pool doing nothing at all.  I could never do that. How do you convince your brain that it is okay to feel happiness?
2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Little steps welcome

You'd have to define "happiness" for us. That's because not one other person on this planet would have a similar description.

Some are happiest working 16 hours a day everyday. Some people looked highly stressed but when you ask them they say "I'm not stressed, I'm excited".

So doing what you like to do when you want to do it should see you at your happiest. Perhaps when this time comes you dont recognise yourself as being happy for some reason?

It sounds like a job for a psychiatrist to find out why your mind shuts down when most people would not consider they shouldnt be happy. Perhaps there has been some events in your childhood that has prevented you from being happy for long periods.

As an example. My psychiatrist wondered why I was so emotional and my mind stops and goes into complete shut down. He discovered that a swimming pool event when my brother nearly drowned caused me to not speak for 3 months- no one word. That event shaped my emotional sensitivity for my entire life.

Seek help and find the source of your hurdles with this

Good luck  Tony WK

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Littlesteps,

Like Tony has mentioned "happiness" can mean so many things to different people.

Also like Tony mentioned, it might be a good idea to have a chat to a professional about how you are feeling. You might be able to find some key to unlocking what ever it is that may be hindering you emotionally.

Happiness. Contentment. A sense of Peace. The ability to take pleasure in something. We all handle these differently.

Next time you have a moment where you feel happiness, try to expand on that feeling and make the most of it. Try to tell yourself there is no reason at all to feel guilty about being happy.

Maybe something in your childhood has programmed you to think this way. Our brains can be reprogrammed, you may just need some help to do it.

The ability to feel happiness, joy, pleasure, freedom, peace and what ever makes a person feel good, these are all emotions and feelings to treasure not to be ashamed or guilty of having.

Maybe you would like to explain more about how you are feeling, and looking back you might be able to discover how these thoughts have grown for you into a sense of false reality.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools or Lauren