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A Quick Self Confidence/Esteem Check

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Everyone and especially new posters or anyone reading the Beyond Blue Forums too!

This may seem unimportant to many but there is a reason for this thread. I have had depression and anxiety for many years and I found this self esteem/confidence check invaluable when I was researching why I was so nervous and panicky....before I was diagnosed and during...

How do you respond to a compliment? If someone says well done! or good on you! Or compliments you for qualities you have....Do You...

  1. Pass the compliment off and say....oh no...'I'm not really that good.. etc etc'
  2. Ignore the compliment and struggle for words...
  3. Reflect the compliment away and 'handball' a compliment back...
  4. Or say 'thankyou'

A few years ago I had a really hard time with dealing with compliments. This thread is not a 'test' in anyway....It is just a 'self check' that may help some people find a little peace and self awareness where low self confidence/esteem/worth is an issue

The answer is number 4....What number would you have chosen? Your true/heartfelt thoughts on this would be a great help on how you respond to a compliment

Thankyou for taking the time to read my post

Kind Thoughts

Paul

73 Replies 73

OhmeOhmy
Community Member

HI Paul and Everyone

I love this thread, there is so much wisdom in this community.

I am at the stage where I always say thank you to a compliment however if I am not in a good place I may doubt the sincerity of it or wonder what their "real motivation" is for giving it. Sometimes I think "they can see I'm struggling and they are trying to be encouraging". On a good day I believe the compliment is genuine and feel like hugging the world because someone sees something good in me and I can see it too. Regardless of where I am at I always say thank you and smile because I have been on the other end, when you give someone a compliment and they throw it away, it doesn't feel good and sometimes it even hurts, so I don't want to ever to do that anyone else.

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
Hey Geoff, thanks for your appreciation. What a really nice post to read after getting out of bed. I hope you have a great day :-). Paul

Hi All,

Just had a thought. People don't always have to say "Thank You" to show their appreciation. People can show their appreciation in so many different ways, maybe we just have to look for their ways of expressing thanks.

My husband has two friends staying over for the night. There was a bit to organise as far as bedding and food and so on. My husband does not often say Thanks, but I do know he appreciates what I do for him. He may show it by making me a coffee or sometimes he just doesn't seem to consider he needs to say thanks.

The guys have said thanks, they don't seem in a hurry to go home, so that is thanks enough to know they feel welcome in our home.

Thanks and appreciation can be shown in many different ways!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

Hi ohmeohmy, thanks for responding and your kind words too:-) I love what you wrote and I quote

"when you give someone a compliment and they throw it away, it doesn't
feel good and sometimes it even hurts, so I don't want to ever to do
that anyone else"
Very well said. Paulx

Hi Mrs Dools! Thanks, you bring up a another good point. Paulx

Hi Paul,

The most thankless job in the world is cleaner yet they keep diseases at bay. Which reminds me of a poem I wrote years ago.

A Simple poem

It was when I worked for Telstra on a bright and sunny day

I decided to enter a porta potti and I didn't have much to say

It was the type on two wheels where we used to moan

And during this time I decided to write a simple poem

"Upon this dunny seat where I do my bit

An interesting episode of where my botty sits"

Well suddenly it took off and I yelled and cried

With mi undies at mi ankles I couldn't restore my pride

The slop began to lick my bott, my arms holding onto walls

Finally my mate stopped as he heard my Tarzan call

He ran to the back to the dunny den

saw a message on the door and I was holding a texta pen

"upon this funny seat where I do my bit

An interesting episode of where my botty sits...."

Tony WK

What can I say? Says Paul listening to Don Mclean....

You do have a gift where being a wordsmith is concerned Tony WK :-)...Muchas Gracias

Hey Tony WK...what a crack up! (Pardon the pun...ha ha)

My compliments to the author; words stimulating visual OMG'ness! and experiential empathy, yet titillatingly funny.

Yes...I am sincere and grateful for the well timed giggle...Dizzy x

Hey Dizzy....you just gave me a laugh with your 'crack up' pardon the pun reply...Nice1

Tony WK has a gift...that is a no brainer:-)..Paul x

You're welcome...a gift indeed x

Thanks dizzy and Paul

I penned that poem in 1991 when I worked for telecom as it was known then. Yes it happened a bit exaggerated though

There are several of my poems in the poetry thread. I've got about 240 now.

I've found it is my therapy and can only write them when in a low sad mood.

The black widow

The male black widow spider tried all his life

He tried to tickle the hairy legs of his larger black widow wife

Suddenly he had a win, something of which to gloat

She started to laugh aloud as his leg slid down her throat

Poor male black widow was bound to get into strife

All because he didn't understand...the nature of his hairy wife....

Tony WK