LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

[MsPurple]

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community.

A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations 🙂 Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything

Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s

I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer

Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums

MP 🙂

[MsPurple]

Hi everyone

I was getting confused about the Essen thing too. Glad I know. Makes sense now 🙂

Sez and SN when I said choose your label I don't think it came out correct. You can not choose who you are attracted to sexually, romantically etc. But you can choose your label in a way. For example I am attracted to men and women. Although there are some differences between pansexuality (all genders) and bisexuality (meaning two genders, but can also include reading between the lines) I think I can choose to identify as either. For me I felt wrong saying pansexual. It just didn't seem to feel right to me. That is what I mean. So yes it came out wrong. Your sexuality is never a real choice, because you are born attracted to one or both or all genders. But your label utimately is up to you.

When I say % thing, I kinda say it so people can kinda understand that you don't have to be exactly in the middle of the spectrum. You can be leaning more towards one way and that is ok. I seem to work well with numbers and it helped me understand it. Doesn't with everyone. I don't think there is a way to find out exactly where on the spectrum you are. But it really wouldn't make a difference I don't think

SN I struggled accepting myself and opening myself up to considering going on a date with a girl. I had been in a relationship with a man before. When I went on a date I got feelings like when I was on a date with a guy. Now I didn't end up in a relationship, but we got close. I had to move away in a few months so never really opened myself up to her completely. I think you can still be attracted to the same gender without experiencing it. Sexuality and figuring yourself out is a journey. One I am definitely still on as well. It doesn't help that MH and anxiety make us worry a lot more about sexuality etc.

Starwolf. thanks for sharing your story and letting us get to know more about Asexuality. I only know what a youtuber called Ricky Dillion said cause he tried to explain it, however he claims his sexuality is his and and not all asexuals are the same.

[kanga_brumby]

SN I had a very good friend ( no longer with us ) who identified as lesbian I found that early in the relationship . It did not change how I behaved around her at all except we were more open about talking about sex than if she was straight. because of my wacky scene of humor and how we talked she poped the question on to me so here we have some one who identifies as lesbian willing to have sex with a male because se wanted a baby. yet she still identified as lesbian . Its who you want a long time relationship with you can be lgbtgcd sea horse and still have children its what you want you to be identified as. Me I am nute given up on sex its over rated I support those who choose there camp and been in a couple of pride marches supporting those with different abilities who are gay and or lesbian members of humanity there is only one group I would never support unless it was to exterminate the lot but thanks to the do gooder brigade we have to let them into our community but when they prey on small children the Darlicks would be a great ali

kanga

[startingnew]

i think im confusing myself

i dnt know what i am

i thought i did but i obviously dont

[MsPurple]

Hey SN. I feel the same way as you a lot of the time. I identify as bisexual but sexuality still confuses me. Don't worry you are not alone still being confused. I think that we are just taught that you know and its easy, but it really isn't if you are somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. It takes time. You should watch on youtube 'Shane Dawson bisexual' his coming out helped make me not feel alone. He was super confused for years. It helped me accept that it is ok to take time to figure it out, and it is ok to be ok with being a little confused. I'm just being me and seeing where the journey takes me

[startingnew]

I suppose theres really only one way to find out and thats through letting things just flow and accept things for what they are. If I end up with a male then so be it, if I end up with a woman then so be it.
I dont think its wise to deny myself feelings for whatever gender come up at the time. And hey if I decide I dont like men at all then thats fnie same with women.
Right now though im happy with either and whatever happens, happens


i had feeling towards both genders before but i was alot younger and really didnt understand much of this as to me everyone around me was having the male-female relationship. maybe it was more curiosity than anything, maybe it was for real im not too sure. about 8 months ago i started having feelings towards a woman and denyed myself of it, one becasue it was confusion for me and the other was i knew it wasnt going to work out through other reasons. So being 'Bi' is something new to me. I dont really know many LBGTI either. I know one of them and they just had a commitment cereomny because of the marriage laws.
ill take a look at the youtube clip too, thanks

[startingnew]

I had a chat to Qlife and they were pretty helpful
The counsellor said instead of labelling dony label at all that way it takes the pressure off

I can just say im still figuring out my sexuality. Then when i get more experience with either or both genders then i can figure it out and theres no rush at all
Just let things flow. Dont deny feelings just accept them and if i choose to persue them then go for it

[startingnew]

umm Dory im not too sure how to respond to that...

for me its not who turns me on its more about who im more comfortable with and being able to distinguish of its love, sexual attraction or if its the comfort that i seek

[MsPurple]

HI Dory

I'm not too sure if you were trying to be supportive or you were frustrated. I thought you sounded frustrated. My advice if it was the latter is that this thread is dedicated to LGBT+ matters/queries/concerns (straight allys also welcome) so if you're not wanting to hear about it please feel free to skip threads that have LGBT+ on them. If you want to be supportive of us and our journey to self acceptance then go ahead. For me it wasn't black and white like some as I am not heterosexual.

It can be hard to portray tone on the forums so please be wary that sometimes if you are wanting to portray the right tone then put it in brackets e.g. That was soooo yesterday (sarcasm).

[MsPurple]

HI SN. I agree with that Qlife person. They were right on the money. We don't need a label, some just like one. IT can be hard to label things because sometimes things aren't as clear as it seems. The most fun way to explain this is from the movie WALL-E . He collects forks and spoons and puts them away in seperate places. When he picked up a spork he didn't know where to put it. SO he put in the middle. Who cares about labels 🙂 Sexuality and self discover takes time and sometimes we just need to be open for the journey. I still have a lot of self discovery to be had 🙂 I am just open to love in whatever gender they are

Also the rate of same-sex attracted young people are 5 times more likely to attempt suicide (saw this on one of Osher Gunsbergs pictures). I believe being open on forums like this and being able to talk about it openly in a save space will maybe help people as they will not feel alone.

[startingnew]

having that conversation with them did help becasue i was stuck between am i this or that but to fit into this label this is whats right. where as if i just say im still working out my sexuality it helps me out in a way that i can have have feelings for either gender and accept them for what they are.

if i persue one of the realtionships and im not into it but im into another then thats just what happens

ive gotta be brave enough to actually persue one of them first or how about just talking to people might be a good start