I’ve thought about it, and it’s time to take action

[Blue_dragon]

Hello everyone,

I am humbly asking for your assistance as I question my sexuality. I am 19 years of age, male and I think I may be homosexual. A little bit of context; my family whom I love dearly are conservative Catholics (my parents at least) and as a result I have had to suppress thoughts, feelings and desires I’ve experienced towards certain guys. There is this constant internal conflict of my family values, religious beliefs and my desires that rages on whenever I try to define my sexual identity. But I’ve reached the stage where I want to live my truth. The funny thing is I’m not quite sure what my truth is, I know that I am sexually attracted to certain males but emotionally I’m not sure because I’ve never been with a guy. What if this is misdirected lust? Whenever I see things on social media about heterosexual couple goals I feel as though I’d love to have such a relationship.

Where do I go from here? I’ve read and heard a lot about exploring but I don’t know what that entails. For instance should I consensually kiss a guy (I’m sorry if that sounds ignorant it’s just that I really don’t know where to go from here). I’d honestly be grateful to those who are able to share their discovery journeys with me.

I’d also love to here other catholic youth stories about reconciling and integrating their religious faith and sexual identity, because if I could I’d want to try and integrate my catholic faith with that of my sexual identity. But I understand that this may not be a possibility.

I also read an article from the Pope saying that “parents should take their children to a psychiatrist if they see homosexual tendencies arise”. This has made me quite fearful of myself. Is there something wrong with me? Am I somehow abnormal? Am I sinning by acting on these tendencies?

I’m sorry to end on such a chaotic note.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

No wonder you are confused. As far as integrating your likely homosexual inner self with the Catholic Church ideals I don’t think there is much chance of that and it could be yet another road to disappointment. You need to protect yourself not subject yourself to shame.

As far as your sexuality goes I read once words from singer Missy Higgins “I see my sexual desires as a fluid experience “ she then lived with a woman, now married to a man with children.

So your journey needs an attitude without nervousness, when and if the time comes when you meet a man that gives off chemistry then you can both share your nativity and use that as a means to connect- he might very well enjoy that side of you. So try to relax is the message.

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beyondblue topic you are still a jigsaw piece

beyondblue topic the frog and the scorpion

Beyondnlue topic the best praise you’ll ever get

I won’t say your journey will be an easy one a bit like the stigma we feel with mental illnesses but your life is worth living as yourself, not as a man living up to others expectations

Reply anytime

TonyWK