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I'm very very confused...

Community Member

I'm very lost and i'm just looking for help...


Im 19 years old and i've been on lots of antidepressants for about 3 years so my thoughts about sexuality have been basically non-existent i even wondered if i was asexual and that scared me (not that there is a problem i just don't relate to that). Recently i've come off alot of my medication and i've stared having fantasies they started off straight but have recently begun to wander alot, I can also see myself ending up long term with a man or a woman, i know that these signs point towards being bi but i wonder if i'm just making these feelings up in my head. I don't really have any experience with anything (even kissing) as i've been in hospital during the time most people begin to explore themselves. I cant really talk to my parents, they're not homophobic but i've tried and they kinda tried to talk me out of it I also don't have many understanding friends.


I would love someone elses opinion, thx. 

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome


Medications depending on type, quantity etc can have side effects for sure. As to side effect pointing toward effect on sexuality that would take an expert and even then I'm not certain they would know.


What I think is natural is humans when they are young there is so many changes being made mentally and physically in that sphere that most of these creeping in thoughts are jumbled. Where their sexuality goes from that point is strictly up to the individuals development.


My only advice to someone in this sexually jumbled period is to allow you some time to think more about where your desires lie and increase or decrease. Dating as friends only can sort this out. Making decisions for the sake of experimenting isnt ideal as you might have some regret with some people- guilt. Impulsivity is a problem or can develop into a bigger problem.


So, as to your thoughts there is an element of normality in finding your footing with sexual orientation. Even your inexperience in kissing is an individual like/dislike and there is various levels of intensity. This is all normal. I remember watching a 1930's movie with a kiss there and is was the shortest kiss with very closed mouths... looked quiet abnormal to me in comparison to now. Having had several partners and GF's when young I can say - they all kiss differently!!! ... so relax, discuss the "jumbling" thoughts with your GP/psych and ask them questions.


Yeh, parents at times arent the best people to raise these questions so well done coming here.



Community Member

Hi Dazzling_mushroom834,


Congratulations on finding the courage to actively seek advice and for finding the strength to reach out. I hope you find what you are needing to hear.


It is possible that long-term usage of medications can have certain effects. However, when it comes to sexuality I believe human attraction cannot be distorted. It may just be that you are finding the energy and time to rediscover your sexuality. In that case, then all your fantasies are very normal and very valid. You don't need any specific experience to validify your attractions, what feels right, simply just feels right. 


Beyond blue offers catered advice and possibly even the help you may be looking for. If it sits with you, you may want to check that out. 


Good luck,

Yours truly