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I am gay......

Community Member
so I fell in love with my support worker, it ended badly. I'm not coping well. I've been seeing an escort since late November, I thought it would be easier to experiment to see if I am gay with a professional, you might say. It has worked out well for me, it has given me someone to talk to as well, so it's not just about the intimacy.
Now I am stressed out, what if I never find a partner? I kinda feel like I spend all my money on the escort and buying lotto tickets so I can spend more time with her. It's a weird situation. Plus my Mother has always said if I am gay she'd disown me, so got to keep that secret.
Sad part is my mental health support person got a restraining order against me, she couldn't deal with the fact I was flirting with her, buying her gifts, etc so she got an AVO. I just accepted it. I don't want anything to do with her anyway. So hard when I have barely anyone to talk to about this.
1 Reply 1

Hey spunkyturtle,

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your journey here with the community, We understand that it can be really tough to be so open and honest about what you're going through, so thank you for having the courage. We're really sorry to hear that you've been feeling so stressed out, and feeling like you can't talk to anyone about this. But please know that support is always here for you, and our caring community are here to talk things through with you in this safe, judgement-free space. 

If you feel up to it, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEDT on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

We'd also encourage you to reach out to our friends at QLife, who provide anonymous and free LGBTI peer support and referral for people in Australia wanting to talk about sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships. They are available 3pm-midnight AEST on 1800 184 527 or also through webchat here: https://www.qlife.org.au/resources/chat

You are not alone in this, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.