Depression, Bullying, Harassment, Sexuality

[Billy7]

Hi Guys,

This is my first post & not really sure where to start? I guess I'm looking for some support & guidance. I suffer from depression with anxiety. I had a breakdown a year & a bit ago, it was a slow build up of pressures, loss of a few close family members, bullying & harassment (sexuality), stressful & long working hours, death threat from customer & what topped it off was being threatened with a tazer by another colleague.

Jumping forward I finally got a new job, started taking my antidepressants as soon as I had the first phone interview as I was not coping with the negative self talk. I managed to make it through the first day with much anxiety, (to be expected). Being a similar industry that I had worked in it turns out that my new colleague used to work with someone from my old work, added to that the boys club mentality it took me right back to my breakdown. Hence to say I did not return the next day.

I'm so tired of all the pain & suffering, just done. It shouldn't be this hard!

I have isolated & pushed people away, I don't know what else to say or what to expect?

XXX

[white knight]

Hi Billy, welcome.

I get so annoyed with bullies.

You are proving you are human, a kind hearted soul. Try not to lose your self esteem from people that are destructive.

Its a small world so sooner or later the bullies will connect again or new ones reappear. There is a saying to "grow a thick skin". Easier said than done Billy.

Your first step is to be realistic about your new job. They are new people apart from this one person many others will not be so judgemental. Seek out the kind non judgemental types in this world and make friends. Discard the others.

Google these

Topic: bullying- beyondblue

Topic: so what are their mental illnesses?- beyondblue

Good luck. Post anytime.

Tony WK

[Gruffudd]

Hi Billy,

I'm glad you found Beyond Blue and I hope that at least in these forums you are never alone. It sounds like you have had quite a tough road. Please check out the sexuality forum and feel free to talk about anything on that topic there (you are most welcome on the other forums too), whatever your identity we know about the bullying it's not right and we are there to support. I am queer myself and have some experience of harassment, depression, anxiety. It gets better.

So don't forget that you are worth it. What do you do to get back on top of things and feel better? Are you into sport or something else? I'd love to hear more.

Rob.

[Billy7]

Hi Tony,

Thanks for the welcome!

Haha, yeah your right, definitely easier said than done having a thick skin. Obviously not everyone & I know I shouldn't but I do care about what people think of me.

The new job is done it broke me. I at least now know I have to look for something totally different?

Will Google, thanks for the response!

[Billy7]

Hi Rob,

Thankyou for your reply.

Yeah me too, finally bit the bullet & its nice to know I'm not alone. Might help me to stop ruminating & internalising? I know it will get better its just tuff in the moment.

Its hard to say what gets me back on top of things because as I'm sure you can appreciate in the moment & at times I have no pleasure in anything. In saying that I enjoy getting in the garden fresh air & a grounding sense from the earth, going for drives & motorbike rides, colouring in seems to be a good distraction too.

Thanks for your care!

[Paul]

Hey Billy, please allow me to add my welcome... Welcome!

I know that feeling of "I should be doing something" but you don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes I have to force myself out on my motorbike and remind myself of what an absolute pleasure it is to be out on the bike again.

Work bullies are the worst, the best part is they usually have their fall. It might take years, but every dog has his day. As the guys have said above, surround yourself with kind people. If you feel comfortable you could share your story with someone new and kind, say at a new workplace, and allow them to guide you through the first few days.

Oh just a tip - there's a bike blitz on in Victoria at the moment if you live there. Random licence inspections and speeches from friendly men in blue uniforms. (and women in the blue uniforms too)

Paul

[Billy7]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your welcome.

Yeah I don't get out on it enough as I should, its another great distraction & I do really feel free when riding.

I tend to be a bit guarded & it takes me time to let people in & get to know me. I do hope to find a new workplace that I'm comfortable in & soon as the cost of living is a big stress to me at the moment.

Yes I'm in Vic, thanks for the tip, I'm no boy racer so all good.

Thanks again.

[Paul]

Hey Billy,

How have you been?

Paul

[Billy7]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for asking. Feeling a little low, just on a slow road at the moment. Things will get better.

How's things you're end?

Cheers

[Paul]

Hey Billy, nice to see you again.

Feeling a little low myself at the moment. Work is a bit difficult lots of changes - I don't much like changes.

So I went out on the bike on the weekend. I hadn't been out for a while. It was great. Ended up at Mt Baw Baw.

Have you been doing much riding?

Paul