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Coming out support - Gay, Married w/ Kids

Community Member

Hi there,

Wanted to share my story in the hope it might help others and also looking for recommendations of finding like-minded guys who can relate.

I am 35 and have been in a single relationship pretty much straight out of highschool. Married for about 8 of those years with two incredible kids. Our relationship has always been strong on all fronts, including sex-life. Having said that though I have always been sexually attracted to guys only.


A few weeks ago, I recently found the courage to share this with my wife. As I expected this caused a lot of hurt and pain for both of us and was very emotionally draining. What I wasn't quite expecting was the incredible support from my wife. Having said that we both acknowledge that our marriage cannot continue this way and for everyones (including the kids) best possible future we are making baby steps towards a goal of co-parenting. We are but at the beginning of what will be a long journey ahead.

I believe our strong friendship bond will put us in good stead to make this happen, and continue to look out for each other. This means I have given her the space she needs as well as her leaning on the support of our friends (which after such a long time, have basically become intertwined). While a few have also offered words of support to me during this time I am torn at leaning on them too much right now (and worry how emotionally tolling that would be for them too).


I also acknowledge that part of my journey will need to involve forging my own friendships that can better relate and help me discover more in this nextstage of life for me. My problem is I dont know where or when to begin. I dont want to jump too fast into anything but at the same time feel like now I have spoken my truth I should be living it. And not even sure where to begin; there seems to be a huge (at least comparitively) list of support groups for youth but nothing for someone my age. I just want to try and meet people and forge some new bonds without any expectations of sex or dating which seem to be the intent of most options I have found.


Any words of advise or suggestions would be incredible; and love to hear any similar stories.

1 Reply 1

Hey Pixel8,   Thank you for sharing your story with us and its great to hear you and your wife are communicating it all. This is an amazing community to open up to, and we’re sure you’ll hear from some of the community members once they spot your post.    If you need to chat, QLife would be an awesome organisation to talk to. They offer Australia-wide anonymous, LGBTQIA+ peer support and referral for people wanting to talk about a range of issues including sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships. QLife services are free and include both phone and webchat support, delivered by trained LGBTQIA+ community members across the country. You can call them on 1800 184 527 or check out their webchat.   You can also give us a call anytime on 1300 22 4636 if you feel like talking to us about anything that’s going on for you through this journey. We are here for you, and so is this community who may relate to some of what you’re going through, and can share advice, understanding, hope and support.    Kind regards,    Sophie M