Sexuality and gender identity

Trying to navigate friendships with my confusing identity

replies: 1

I am a 20yo AMAB on the spectrum and, long story short, the newer experiences I've had in only the past few years have led me to realising more about myself and at this point I consider myself to be nonbinary, borderline ace. Amongst those experience... View more

I am a 20yo AMAB on the spectrum and, long story short, the newer experiences I've had in only the past few years have led me to realising more about myself and at this point I consider myself to be nonbinary, borderline ace. Amongst those experiences is the opportunity to make friends of a wider range of gender identities (compared to the single sex male environment of high school) and I've found that I identify more with my feminine-presenting peers. Cutting to the chase, I'm envious of the way they interact amongst each other; the platonic, openly supportive relationships I observe amongst my female friends. These are friendships I see value in building towards but as long as I am still uncomfortable with my gender expression and sense of self they all stagnate around the 'friendly acquaintances' zone. I constantly feel like there are things I can't do or say even as other people are doing literally exactly that already. I feel like part of that is my inability to actually do so confidently (deep voice, making facial expressions) and the idea that hearing it from a male would somehow come across differently just because (my form is definitely more masculine than I want it to be). I especially don't want to come across as a man trying to invade women's spaces. Particularly since I don't identify as a man to begin with nor am I sexually interested. Lockdown has only made it worse since i haven't seen any of such friends in over five months now, nor have I had a chance to experiment with self expression to reflect how I identify. Even trying to reach out to them and suggesting making a time to hang out is yet another thing I feel unconfident with. I actually thought I was getting somewhere with improving in the months leading upto lockdown but the rug got pulled out from under me so I'm back to square one it feels like. I can provide more context if needed, but basically how should I think about navigating this feeling of not fitting in and doubting my ability to do so?

Going forward, uncertain.

replies: 10

So being a 49 year old male, always known I was gay but never wanted to accept it and fought hard to deny it. Married for 25 years to the most beautiful person in the world and have 3 incredible children who are well grown up, and am extremely proud ... View more

So being a 49 year old male, always known I was gay but never wanted to accept it and fought hard to deny it. Married for 25 years to the most beautiful person in the world and have 3 incredible children who are well grown up, and am extremely proud of. Could not give my everything to my wife from a love point of view, even though I love her and always will. Over the years became more and more distant and eventually, 6 months ago, brought it out. And we had both known for 25 years and both wanted to deny it. So moved out staying alone, feel awkward around family and just simply don’t want to see or talk to anyone. It’s weird and hurts at times. Work keeps me sane and completely immerse myself in work and love it. Don’t want anyone else to know and only a very few do. So my question is, does this ever get better, how can I stop hurting the ones I love, and what is best for the family , for them?

Whats up with my gender?

replies: 3

Hey everyone! lately, I've been feeling pretty weird and uncomfortable with my gender (cis woman) and I was hoping to get some advice about how to go about this. I'm not experiencing any sort of dysphoria and I don't feel as though I'm the opposite g... View more

Hey everyone! lately, I've been feeling pretty weird and uncomfortable with my gender (cis woman) and I was hoping to get some advice about how to go about this. I'm not experiencing any sort of dysphoria and I don't feel as though I'm the opposite gender. And I say lately but honestly, I've been feeling this way, or more of a watered-down version of this, since I was 15 (I'm 20 now.) For some context, I was diagnosed with BPD and Depression when I was 16 and have been in and out of hospital since then for self-harm/suicide attempts and not eating. I identify as a pansexual cis woman and have since I was 15. I'm a left-leaning communist and a pretty radical feminist, of course, I am 10000% in support of trans rights and the rights of every other gender out there. Honestly, I just feel kind of wrong about my gender, or that something is missing, I feel almost empty (in regards to my gender) like there should be something more. I often feel that my gender isn't enough or it doesn't fit me right. This is causing me to feel even more depressed than I do with my BPD and actual Depression. So what's up with this? Seeking helpful advice, Happy Hippie.

Gender identity

replies: 3

Ok, I have an issue. I get extremely annoyed and agitated at this movement of gender identity. Now, I wish I was more accepting, but when people start saying there is more than 2 genders, it really pisses me off. I have never questioned my own gender... View more

Ok, I have an issue. I get extremely annoyed and agitated at this movement of gender identity. Now, I wish I was more accepting, but when people start saying there is more than 2 genders, it really pisses me off. I have never questioned my own gender, never even crossed my mind. I am a male, not by choice, but because of my chromosomal make up-mainly that I have an XY chromosome, rather than XX means I am biologically a male. I am not stereotypical male, Im not particularly masculine, or anything like that. If anything, I have never felt like I fit in with what some people consider a man. HOWEVER, I dont doubt I am a man, because of the fact I have XY. Additionally, I thought the societal representations of what men and women were; gender roles for example, was wrong and that it is wrong to have gender roles in society. And yet, people are basing their genders on these out dated forms of what a female and a male should be. I am not against acting however you want, but why is there such a huge importance placed on identifying yourself as a certain gender? Your gender doesn't define you as much as you would like to think it is. I have seen so many videos explaining different genders, and some of them sound the EXACT same as another gender. Stop defining everything and just live how ever you want to live. Not everybody needs to know your gender either, if you look like a man and I call you a man in public, dont say I misgendered you (if you dont identify as a man), I cant tell how you FEEL/THINK you should be identified as. THank you for coming to my ted talk. Any advice on how to deal with this, or anyone that would be willing to explain (deeper than just feelings), of why this is etc?

The Moment of Realisation

replies: 3

Hi Beautiful People, Coming out is a very different experience for everyone for various reasons which can be positive and negative. But I'd like to hear about your 'light bulb' moments and when you were able to look back and think 'ohhh this is why i... View more

Hi Beautiful People, Coming out is a very different experience for everyone for various reasons which can be positive and negative. But I'd like to hear about your 'light bulb' moments and when you were able to look back and think 'ohhh this is why i felt jealous of my best friend making new friends or this is why I used to become introvert in the girls locker room'. I say ask this because I have found peace and clarity in thinking back to those moments with the knowledge I have today and knowing that I wasn't crazy, It was just at that time in life I hadn't grown into my true self yet. Billiee xx

Questioning my gender

replies: 1

Hello everyone! I need some help. I'm a biological female, but recently I've been questioning that. I'm thinking i might be gender fluid, but I'm honestly really confused. Please help me out! I know i need to make this decision for myself, but i woul... View more

Hello everyone! I need some help. I'm a biological female, but recently I've been questioning that. I'm thinking i might be gender fluid, but I'm honestly really confused. Please help me out! I know i need to make this decision for myself, but i would really appreciate some advice. Love you!

Marraige

replies: 5

Hello everyone, I am pretty new at this. I am in my late 20's and a single female. My family are very traditional, and would have liked me to be married in my early 20's. I have been in relationships with three men and two women. I had always known I... View more

Hello everyone, I am pretty new at this. I am in my late 20's and a single female. My family are very traditional, and would have liked me to be married in my early 20's. I have been in relationships with three men and two women. I had always known I was attracted to women, but I never intended to act on it. The two women I was with kind of just happened.. wasn't my intention. I know that the relationships with men didn't feel as strong, but I still am attracted to men and feel I will end up marrying a guy as that's what my family want. They don't know I've been with women. And I'd love to "follow my heart" and be with a woman but I honestly don't see that happening in my future. Is marrying a man something I may regret.. I feel depressed and anxious as my family want me to settle down already, and are putting gentle pressure on me..

Not trans enough or not woman enough

replies: 6

Hi All, I am a trans woman, well at least that is how I currently identify. I am really struggling with not be trans/woman enough. I look like a man and everyone identifies me as a man. I have a deep voice and dont know how to fix that. I do try to p... View more

Hi All, I am a trans woman, well at least that is how I currently identify. I am really struggling with not be trans/woman enough. I look like a man and everyone identifies me as a man. I have a deep voice and dont know how to fix that. I do try to present female but then people just look at me weird. I am not talkative enough, not that all woman are talkative. I dont have friends, again not exclusive to one gender. I just dont feel like I fit in with either binary gender and I dont feel there is a middle. I am 38 and I know there is not much hope for me but I am still transitioning.

Married, gay? Confused

replies: 17

I’ve been married for many years and have three kids. I love my wife and children but think about being with men. I thought I could carry on as normal and deal with this but I’m finding with increasing work stress that I’m not coping with anything at... View more

I’ve been married for many years and have three kids. I love my wife and children but think about being with men. I thought I could carry on as normal and deal with this but I’m finding with increasing work stress that I’m not coping with anything at the moment and I’m finding it hard to isolate what the real cause of my anxiety is.

how am I supposed to know my sexuality...?

replies: 3

hi again, I'm 15 year old girl and only a year ago I discovered I was bisexual. I'm pretty comfortable with telling people this so my whole family knows aswell as my close friends. I've kind of only recently been questioning it again, I barely ever h... View more

hi again, I'm 15 year old girl and only a year ago I discovered I was bisexual. I'm pretty comfortable with telling people this so my whole family knows aswell as my close friends. I've kind of only recently been questioning it again, I barely ever have much of an attraction to guys. I've had crushes on girls and that sort of stuff but it's hard for me to come to terms with possibly being a lesbian. Maybe it's internalised homophobia because I am honestly kind of scared of identifying with it. Am I omnisexual? pan? I have no idea someone help please

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LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

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