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27 years old confused about sexuality for the first time

Community Member

Hey guys, I am a 27 year old guy and I have been straight all my life.

I have never had a single urge/desire/thought to do anything of a homosexual nature, never ever have questioned my sexuality and have always been obsessed with girls my whole life.

I did a reiki healing session about 7 weeks ago and since then, I have had a strong desire to explore my homosexual fantasies. I have also lost all attraction to women. I can't even masturbate to them, I don't get as turned on as I do with gay fantasies since that reiki session.

I am very scared- will my attraction to women come back? I have loved women all my life and I feel that I have woken up as gay overnight after the Reiki session. I don't know what happened and I am terrified 😞

Any advice would be appreciated, thank you

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Hi Dean,

I don't know if this helps, but does it help to keep in mind that you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with, and you're completely free to sit with your feelings and thoughts for as long as you need to?

I don't have experiences with this kind of worry you are having and also don't really know how to advise you or what your feelings mean, but I imagine it might be useful to be kind and patient with yourself while you perhaps let these feelings settle (or lift, if that may be the case). Maybe it will be just a matter of time and patience before you get some clarity in your mind one way or the other.

Do you have someone who you know and trust who you can talk to?

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Dean, doing reiki is what you believe is happening and people who actually do it say it works with the energy fields around the body, however, it is hard to prove its effectiveness through scientific means and only what you feel it's doing.

I've had it done once a long time ago, and one leg starting to shake, so the person performing this, felt as though it was working, but for me, it was a cramp being on the table for so long.

Whether or not you believe it's worth is up to you, but also questioning your thoughts is surely going to happen, it's like being at a crossroad, do we turn left, right, go straight ahead or return, don't we always query our thoughts, time and experience will tell you.

Best wishes.


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Dean21

The reiki healing session sounds like a mind altering experience which is now becoming stressful for you. Personally, I don't know too much about reiki but I am what you'd call a spiritual kinda gal.

It may pay to do a follow up, just for advice. Whether you contact that practitioner or a reiki master who has greater knowledge, I'd imagine they'd be able to tell you what's going on. Definitely keep looking for answers and support. I say this from personal experience. In a nutshell:

About 15 years ago, I was in depression group therapy when suddenly I found myself coming out of a decade and a half of depression. Whatever the exact trigger, it was like a switch just flicked in a split second. In this moment, my mindset suddenly began to change (in a positive way). Then the changes started becoming pretty intense to the point where I phoned the therapist who was facilitating the sessions, as I didn't know what was happening to me. She was of no help at all. I wish I'd kept looking for guidance, as the weeks that followed became seriously mind altering. By the way, all settled down after a number of weeks. When you don't know what's happening to you, things can get scary. Guidance is so incredibly important.

When an energetic shift happens it can become mind altering, kinda shifting your 'reality'. The question becomes 'What is my mind doing?' Some might suggest it's opening. You're becoming more open minded. What you want to do with an open mind is entirely up to you. Strongest advice - Be careful what you let in to an open mind. An open mind may dictate 'It doesn't matter about gender when it comes to the kind of energy you want to explore and experience with another person. Don't let the concept of gender limit you'. Some people insist on putting a label on this way of thinking and label it 'bi-sexuality'. Consider the energy (you're attracted to) instead of focusing on the label that society defines it through. Everyone has a different energy about them.

May sound a little strange but I can't help but wonder whether you're attracted to masculine energy, not men. Would you say you're attracted to wanting to be more direct, assertive and action orientated and you feel more drawn to this nature? They say every person requires a balance between the masculine and feminine, the Yin and Yang. Exploring and finding the perfect balance within yourself may lead you back to your love of women. This could be a 'recalibration' period you're experiencing.