Why so vulnerable?

[Billiee]

Hi All,

Feeling vulnerable is a scary thing and we have all felt it multiple times throughout our lives. I strongly believe that it's important to engage in uncomfortable situations as this is the main driver for extensive psychological growth. At the moment i'm challenging my thoughts and behaviours for when i'm in a situation of vulnerability as it has been a downfall of mine for many years.

For me, feeling vulnerable makes me feel small and i start to lack in confidence and question my judgement which i am not someone whom lacks in confidence, so i am trying to dig deep to find out what the main driver behind these feelings are?

I am starting this thread to get some insightful opinions from people who have delved deep into this topic before and to see how others define vulnerability.

Any opinions are appreciated and hopefully this thread will help someone else.

Billiee

[Tay100]

Hi Billiee

A great thread to start! I'm sure many folks will benefit from reading and contributing to this. What does digging deep and assessing these feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty look like for you? What motivates you to continue to grow like this? Just some food for thought- I know considering these overarching questions has helped me in the past.

Tay100

[white knight]

HI, welcome

Very good question Tay100

I feel that being vulnerable wouldnt be such a problem if we didnt have opportunists that take advantage of our state of mind. I've seen this so often in my life- a vulnerable person often gets bullied, controlled by a partner or family member because their vulnerability is like an invitation to them.

I see it with disabled people perhaps near to needing aged care where they can no longer do their banking or shopping. Their partner no longer has the patience for this lifestyle so they end up making all the decisions, some of which their partner didnt want to make!

That is one common example. There is little evidence of people doing "the right thing" by vulnerable people, sadly.

In the case of a person with mental illness we often have weaknesses that are like a light bulb going on. I recll at a solicitors office my ex partner said "as you have a mental illness I would prefer to have everything in writing in case you get unwell and change your mind" to which I replied "as you have narcissistic tendencies I prefer to have everything in writing so you dont change your mind once you've lost control of my share of our estate".

And such is the battles we seem to draw from others- not because it is our fault, but for the stigma our illnesses have.

The solution is building up self esteem- how do we do that?. Well, attending motivation lectures, watching youtube videos on the same topic, self discipline and talking to yourself.

Google

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Just remember, low self esteem can in some cases be a part of our nature so we can build ourselves up but we have to be realistic in that we will fall over often, just get back up and continue to battle on.

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Reply anytime

TonyWK

[Sweesoft]

I believe the vulnerable ones who feel and care the most. It's either they are born pure or they are brought up in positivity and love.

[Billiee]

Hi Tay100,

For me, it would look like matching each thought with an emotion then dissecting each of these and challenging why this feeling has come about and where has it come from? has it been a passed trauma or have i put myself into a head space where i'm over thinking? and then what can i do to overcome the feeling that may be holding me back.

The motivation comes from a place of being scared to be comfortable and having thoughts and feelings holding me back from living a certain way. It happens ALL the time were people are just too scared to try things because they have become 'comfortable' and you wont ever experience new things if you stay in this mind-frame.

[Tay100]

Hi Billiee

Yes that makes sense! Surpassing our comfort zone is critical for growth, and this does involve dissecting emotions, as you say. I think vulnerability also involves being brave enough- and kind enough- to accept whatever emotions come up and why are they there.

Tay100