What do I have to do?

[SarahF]

I am lost completely, I feel that I am in the middle in between thousands of people shouting for help but no one is listing, I am in year 12, I don't have the sense of purpose I don't know what I want to do, have no friends to talk to (I have been in Australia for 2 years only), my family and I had to leave our home because of the war, my parents are not supportive at all, my dad is expecting me to go into Med and get a high ATAR score, but never supported me, He always put me down "you'll never be successful" "you're so dumb"...
I feel useless and I wish if I can die.
I used to support a lot of people and I forgot myself
All I need is a hug and someone to tell me it is gonna be fine

Please someone tell me WHAT TO DO, I want to know my directions where to go and what to do because I love success and being successful, I love people, I love to give. I am sick of watching motivational videos and listing to other inspirational success stories when I want to hear my own.

[IreneM]

HI SarahF

First of all a warm welcome to the Forum and also to Australia. We are all here to support each other, and realise that we are not alone in our thoughts and feelings. Yes you do have a purpose Sarah and you have come to the right place for initial support.

Secondly I can relate to your father telling you that you're no good as my father and ex-partner did the same to me. Just remember that the reason why he may be doing that is because he also has got an issue with self-esteem and many people put others down to make themselves look good.

Can I encourage you to see a doctor and ask for a Mental Health Plan? Doing this will be a sign of strength not a sign of weakness as many may see it. You can also call the Support Line below; as well as the Link "GET IMMEDIATE SUPPORT." When you see your doctor Occupational Therapy may also help, I have done this.

We all have something that we are all good at. You don't have to have lots of qualifications to be a good person in Australia. But if you would like to help others, you must first of all help yourself. Appreciate the good things about yourself and centre your life around what you CAN do, not what you cannot. We all have something that we are good at.

Take Care and let us know.

Irene.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Yes, Irene has some sound advice you can follow.

In terms of education, it's better to enter training or education that you are capable of achieving then, later on, if you feel you can move forward and return to more education then - you can!

I don't agree with your father criticizing you. That is not productive and I think if this continues then moving out should be made an option. Unless counseling can be obtained.

I understand you feel trapped. Many migrants come here and bring their cultures which Australian love but some bring their honour and expectations of their children which can be well beyond their childrens capacity. That is unfair and mentally hurtful/damaging. It must be stopped.

The answer lies with you. It would be incredibly hard to leave home but it could be for the best. Find part time work perhaps, find students that share accommodation so it is affordable. But be clear to your father that you love him but his comments hurt you and you are not in this world to be abused nor exceed his expectations. You are here to be happy and achieve what you can within reasonable grounds.

TonyWK

[Juliet_84]

Hi SarahF,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I grew up in a similar household to yours, with parents making out that I was the worst kid in the world and making me feel like I was not worth much. At the time, that was my entire reality and I had no means of escape, but I wish I knew then what I know now. After school, I went to university (despite my parents making it increasingly difficult for me to do so) and got a good job. It was then that the entire world opened up to me - I was able to leave home, my workmates were lovely and really valued my opinion and it was night and day.I realized that the only way to get out of my crappy life was to work hard and save my money. When you’re at home, that is your world. But the second you leave, you can choose the kind of people you want to be around and who you want to be. I just wanted to give you some hope as I wish someone had told me xx

[IreneM]

HI SarahF

I just wanted to offer a bit more practical advice from an Education Perspective and support White Kinight's (Tony) post above.

I wouldn't get too upset if you fail Year 12. It is not a must to pass that last year and TAFE (Technical and Further Education) Australia-wide have quite good resources for immigrants and people who have got learning difficulties. It is important to only do what you can handle. TAFE allows that flexibility you only have to do one subject at a time if that is all that you can handle.

You also needed direction. If you are online oriented, you might like to try searching for "Self-paced Education". Another way to assist is to do a "Personality Test" or an "Aptitude Test." Open Colleges has a good one. From there you can get an idea of what suits you and your interests.

If you wish to study full time, maybe apply for a course that has a study allowance linked to it like Austudy. From there you will have enough of an income to find a home and course of study or work that suit you.

More here: https://www.humanservices.gov.au/individuals/services/centrelink/austudy/eligibility

Take Care

Irene.