Venting about the same sex marriage debate

[Sad_Puppy_Dog]

This might be a left field subject and tricky to articulate but I will try. Also, I just don't know where else I can say this and predict that I can do so, maybe without a wave of judgment.

I'm straight and believe in same sex marriage. I'll vote yes when the chance comes. I have a few casual friends and acquaintances who are gay or bi. I have no issue with homosexuality.

But the inundation of content (Usually grandiose Facebook posts) by pro SSM people seemingly EVERYWHERE is just starting to get on my nerves. Even though I have consciously cut WAY down on FB, (Largely due to prevalent toxic negativity) I still see these posts all the time and in the media ALL THE TIME. I understand the value of it and I support it.

It make me feel a little bad to be negative about it. It is an issue I believe in but I'm not as passionate about it as others. I feel kind of "resentful" for lack of a better word. I'm going through the hardest Hell of my depression/anxiety. I've had 2 traumatic breakups, the 2nd I'm still not over 4-5 months since it finished (Complicated) and I've had to manage the concept of on/off suicidal thoughts in recent times too. I guess I don't have any room in my head to care about this cause even though I support it, I am kind and very, very empathetic.

Since breakup no. 1, I have been consciously been working very hard at trying to grow, trying to be MORE kind, empathetic, understanding and even forgiving, even of those who are bigoted, cruel and mean spirited. Easier said than done but really working towards a more peaceful and less reactive self. Perhaps this is my classic overthinking but I wonder if I'm resentful because I'm not getting attention. I want MY problems solved! So am I self absorbed? Is it envy for all the likes (Ugh) my Facebook friends are getting? Do I see it as narcissism? I'd normally be one to cringe when someone uses the term 'virtue signaling', but I kind of find myself silently accusing some straight friends of it, that they are maybe seeking adulation by being crusaders for SSM. Maybe they actually DO genuinely care. That makes me feel dirty, going along with the "virtue signalling" concept.

I don't know when the votes are all tallied up. I hope it goes through but there's just only so many cases of people droning on and on about it so aggressively and ubiquitously and declaring "Unfriend me if you vote No" before I think, "Enough already, we get the point!"

And now I feel guilty for complaining about it.

[Lonelydan]

Hi mate, just wanted to say thanks for speaking up I know how hard it is, and for you even harder. There all coming out of the woodworks aren’t they??? You’re right the politicians have turned this into a smorgasbord for idiots to feed off. Like you it makes me so angry that my rights are dependent on the permission of another. When do I get to decide if two absolute idiots can get Married produce children then divorce leaving behind a car crush of heartbreak. Dan..

[Waterfalls]

I support gay marriage. Sad Puppy Dog just seems to be pointing out a sad fact that even people that support it are getting overloaded with it. Me included. Its the fault of religious types etc and the government they don't just get this thing done.

again i support it. That's not the point, just personally i can't even maintain a relationship because of this depression, and whether I'm straight or not doesn't matter. It just serves as a constant reminder to what I lack - at least a relationship. Yes, perhaps this is my distorted way of thinking but that's just how some people think at least my reasoning for this to be low on my capacity to keep caring list

I don't even agree with having to vote. They should just do it. In my home country they were allowed to vote on brexit - look how that turned out.

[Just Sara]

I thought I might get in on issues you've raised SPD;

I'm not going to address Yes or No, but I will talk about the right to be heard and acknowledged.

Without societal dialog and rebellion, politicians will go where votes, popularity and money is. That's life! They're buck passers and private school hypocrites with little experience in real world hardship. In essence, they don't have the skills to deal with this by themselves.

Throughout history, speaking up has been fraught with danger when rebelling against inequality. Prior to women getting the vote, horrific stories of torture and large scale human rights abuses, littered the papers with 'Serve them right!'

Marriage equality is only 'one' of many plights the LGBTI community have had, and continue to deal with. So it's totally understandable our outrage is put forward with such gusto; moreso by some than others.

Fear of losing ground or power seems to be at the core of religious factions as again, history shows. Taking on the church will always cause uproar. They're running scared and putting up a good fight relying on 'one' phrase in the Bible eluding to how bad 'laying with another man' is, as the backbone of their hysteria.

Current technology has given [all] our voices an indispensable worldwide soapbox, and with that comes the good, bad and ugliness of free speech. Those with fairness, real world knowledge, discernment and intelligence will sort thru the crap.

I'm sorry you've been affected by this process of rebellion, it's worth noting that anxiety will cause people to react far more severely than otherwise. Maybe your mental health is the cause of your grievance and not what's being said. My opinion only, so please discuss if you want.

You seem in a bad place mentally/emotionally, so I urge you to join the mainstream forum sections as well as voicing your concerns here. I hope we can support you in your recovery.

Thanks for listening...

Kind thoughts...

Sez

[Sad_Puppy_Dog]

Hi Sez,

Maybe the depression/anxiety is a factor. Like I said, it has just kind of randomly boiled up and it happened to be the "right" thing to irk me at the right time. I'm honestly just trying to avoid it on social media. I don't have TV reception and don't read the newspaper so it really is only the internet where the subject will come up. I just have no need to keep exposing myself to the issue and I'm trying to limit my social media usage as it is. I voted, it's done.

I am in a bad place. I'm trying to do what I can on the boards to use this board as a way to help expunge the negativity, get advice, try to offer some, etc.

[Just Sara]

Well you've come to the right place. Do you have a thread you can call your own? If you don't, please create one ok. I'd be more than happy to engage in some uplifting banter or help with that horrible negativity we all feel now and then.

You've been honest and open with this thread, so congratulations. I love it when people share their thoughts, even if it's not popular. It's created great dialog between members and given an opportunity for an important discussion; I applaud you.

Warm thoughts;

Sez

[Sad_Puppy_Dog]

Hi Sez,

I've had a bot of a break the past couple of days but yes, I'm sure I have a thread or two of my own. It seems that you can be limited in how many you can create (?) but, I have them out there.

[white knight]

Hi justinok

Youve been around here for quite a while.

Im a hetrosexual married man, grown up kids, baby boomer.

For what its worth, I wish nothing more than to give you and the LGBTI community everything I currently have rights to.

Im 61 but at 17yo joined the RAAF as a common homophobic guy. At 21yo I joined the prison service and met many LBGTI inmates some with great advice on my on again off again relationship with my girlfriend. !

So my attitude changed and ever since Ive acknowledged the soft hearts that swell in that community. Being a sensitive poet I connect with minds of compassion and love.

Your post early on here on this thread struck a nerve and I felt for you.

Rest assured if the NO vote gets up it wont last for long.

Justin, go about your life seeking a happiness that no one can break rest assured there are people like me that see you no less a human than I am.

Take care you beautiful soul

Tony WK