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Trying to leave

tinyone
Community Member

Long story, but I will keep it short. I feel as though I've completely lost myself recently.  My partner and I separated 2 years ago. We have 2 kids. And we're together 16 years. I finally found myself again and really enjoyed being single and living my own life for once. I was doing things at my own pace and enjoying my own interests.

Recently ex decided he wanted to try and get back together.  I have told him multiple times I'm not keen and that I don't really want a relationship.  I've been very honest about it. he wants to try over and over but he still hasn't changed.  He still drinks and is very obsessed clingy then gives me silent treatment and plays mind games.  He makes me feel like I just cannot enjoy things. Takes over everything I do. I feel so overwhelmed constantly and feel extremely defeated

I'm back in a situation that I never wanted even be apart of. And I'm struggling to stand my ground and I find myself giving in just to keep him happy 

3 Replies 3

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello tinyone, you've been in a relationship with this person and now have two kids, you now what this person is like and all his bad habits will once again return, but I can't tell you what to do, but I can suggest, that if you accept him back, then it will all repeat itself once again, especially if he drinks and wants to control this situation.

Don't lose your freedom by being single, this is something you may regret if you once again form a relationship.

If you need change your sim card and block his email address.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Mel2334
Community Member

I know it's really diffult time set your boundries and be safe self care and counseling is good and try new things and distract your self block the number and email instead if can and only talk got to do with the children u are going really well and are brave be strong u can do it and for your children try to get support with co parenting if that is a issue and even sepration counselling mediation 

Toonice
Community Member

Hi tinyone,

This must be hard for you to go through, feeling pressure from your ex to get back together and it can be hard to tell him no. Especially when you have children together. But life is way too short to be with someone who makes you feel miserable. I doubt he would change, if anything he may get worse. It's hard when you have to co-parent together, but you should try and distance yourself from him as much as possible and only communicate when necessary about the children. 

 

I have also been out of a bad relationship for almost two years and I love being single, and I don't think I ever want to be in a relationship again. But I understand how hard it would be to be pressured by your ex to get back together. Just think how much happier you are when you are single, and try and stand your ground and tell him no. 

 

If he keeps pressuring you, maybe you need extra help to keep him away. You could reach out to 1800 respect and get their advice?

 

I'm sending you strength...you've got this!