Sudden separation, isolation from daughters, how to deal with it

[jmn251]

Hi, I had to leave home, am living in share accommodation and only get to see my girls once a week. So much time all of a sudden. How do you deal with the sudden isolation. I gave up drinking to so I am doing it sober so it's very real. Any suggestions appreciated.

[Zeal]

Hi jmn,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear that things are tough for you at the moment. Do you get on well with someone in your accommodation? Maybe you could watch movies together, play cards or watch sport matches on TV. I respect you giving up drinking - that takes initiative. What have you enjoyed doing with your spare time in the past? Were there things you didn't do previously because you lacked the time? If you don't mind me asking, how old are your girls? When you get to see them each week, what do you like doing with them/what would you like to do with them?

If you are concerned about your mental wellbeing, you could visit your GP for a check-up or call a free helpline service such as Beyondblue (1300 22 4636) or Mensline (1300 78 99 78).

It would be great to hear back from you! It's likely that others will reply with their own personal stories.

Best wishes,

Zeal

[white knight]

Indeed Zeal.

In 1996 my daughters were 7and 4yo. As they slept I kissed them on their foreheads and walked out.

Such was the level of emotional abuse I endured for 11 years. Smoke rings in the face was the last straw.

I lived in a 3 metre long caravan and for 3 months I was a mess. Then an opportunity...a block of land being sold by the railways came on the market. I bought it.

The clearing if the land meant I kept busy, camping, cutting wood. My kids every fortnight would love it. Heartbreaking handing them back but you have to fight on.

Tgen balancing my shift work I built my own home.

Keeping really busy helps a lot.

Dedicate your life to your girls future.

Next year my eldest will marry. I'll walk her down the aisle. She'll be 28yo. For the same reasons as I had she disowned her birth mother when 16yo and has adopted my wife as her mum.

What goes around...

Keep busy, Zeal suggested a GP visit totally agree it won't hurt and work your way towards your own place where your children one day can choose your home to stay.

And well done over giving up the drink. Top effort.

Tony WK

[geoff]

hi Jmn, how can I say I'm really sorry for you because it won't bring your girls home, but I certainly do feel the pain you are going through, because it hurts you so much.
It's great that you have stopped drinking, but I gather that this could have the reason you were told to leave, in my case my wife took our two sons away from me, not once but several times, so I know how you feel, and the reason was because I was running a pub and she wanted me to stop drinking and to make time to see them all.
Are you able to tell your wife/partner that you have stopped drinking and realise what situation you were in, but now it has changed.
If she says that's good but for how long are you going to not drink again, then you can give her your decision, however your girls mean the world to you so that will make your decision.
I hope that you aren't suffering from any type of depression before this or even now, and hope to hear back from you. Geoff.