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Struggling to make friends

Community Member

I absolutely love my job! I’m a female tradie and I learn so much and really do love the work... however being different to all the men at work and at trade school definitely takes its toll.

It’s hard to meet people. I’ve had to move to a different town, away from my family. And after two years of not making any friends I’m feeling isolated. It’s not easy to go out and socialise with new people, because I have nobody to go with.

I’m in a rural town, so there’s no social clubs or events. I joined a women’s hockey club, but I am much to young so I haven’t been able to make many connections - so I went where I thought young people would be - at a dance school after work... but I was too young to dance with the women (I’m 20 btw) so they put me with the under 16s and I’m not down with the gossip at school so it makes me feel like I can’t be with them either.

i work with men around the age of 40, which is awesome because I’m surrounded by so much experience and knowledge... but outside work they are busy with their family and friends... and don’t need to have a young girl from work to hang out with.

trade school isn’t the same for a girl as it is for the boys. I am either totally ignored, or I am hit on (until they realise I don’t want it and they too begin to ignore me). Both types of interactions make me feel like I’m different to the rest of the class.

our local headspace seems to focus on LGBT kids which is really cool but I don’t belong there... and I’m not sure if I am considered a kid. i want a friend my age. I’m a young mature adult, but not mature enough to belong to adults.

ive tried social media but all I can find is boys looking for nudes or a relationship.... I just want a friend and to stop this ever building feeling that I am all alone in the world and that there’s no hope of me finding my place.

so until then, it’s another day of getting up to attend work before coming home like every other day to a empty house and nobody to talk to.

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Hey Bonnie,

I completely understand how you’re feeling about making new friends, I have also found it really hard lately.

The friends that I used to hang out with were really toxic and nasty, so I had to separate myself from them. Other good friends I have had, have moved hours away and I also feel really lonely.

I also live in a rural town where everybody knows everybody, but if you don’t fit into the click then you’re excluded..which I feel has happened to me.

Although the situations are slightly different, I hope it helps you to know that there are people like me who are feeling the same way and you are not alone 🙂


Thank you for understanding 🙂

Hi Bonnie ,

I can relate to what your going through in a way .

Im a guy and Ive been in construction nearly 30 years , Im out of it now due to a workplace injury last year but I was always different to all the tradie types and only made probally 2 real friends in 30 years out of the trade, I always didn't feel like I fitted inn althou I was good at my job and continued on really just for the $ . If I had my time again I would have chosen a different path , many people told me they didn't see me as the construction type . Anyway my only thoughts are to find people say outside your work that share any passions you have , I myself try and stay busy outside of work hours I love going to a gym . Just another thought could you do further study online in another area or further studies re the same job ?

Make friendships online ?

Take up a hobby ?

The sports good .

Just thoughts .

Take care , Imawombat