Stressed mumma

[Ms11]

I don’t know where to start. I am married with 2 kids. My husband has barely anything to do with the kids and has little interest in doing anything for them. My children feel like hard work. The older one has huge attitude talks back has no respect and won’t listen. I’ve been told it’s because she is a spoilt brat. The little one has always been difficult with anger issues and extreme stubbornness and meltdowns. They both take 2 hours to put to bed by the time they do I am so tired I go straight to bed angry that I never get any alone time to wind down. They fight all the time. I have no friends and no family support. My mum helps occasionally but her priorities have recently changed. We are in massive debt due to renovations. Our house does not feel homely because it is always under construction. My job is stressful and emotionally draining. My husband has no interest in spending time with me and we never do anything together. We don’t even celebrate anniversaries. I love travelling but can’t afford it because all of our money is being spent on the house. I have nothing to look forward to. I feel pretty stressed and hopeless at the moment. I feel I just need to vent sorry if I’m offending anyone or sounding selfish

[GoodWitch]

FYI Ms11, There's nothing wrong with your kids having strong personalities. Both mine do and isn't it a good thing that they know their own mind? That they fight for what they want? Doesn't mean you don't fight back of course, that is your lot as a parent. It's tiring I know. With my youngest it took me...about 4 years to get her to eat veggies without tantrums, tears, fake vomiting, actual vomiting or being sent to bed with no food (because she wouldn't even eat the chicken if it had touched the carrots, and I refused to let her eat nuggets and chips every night). It nearly did me in many nights, I went to bed crying. But now she eats veggies. She knows no ice-cream unless the greens are gone and that seems to work. She eats curry and onion and all the things but it took a hella amount of stubbornness on my part to out stubborn her.

I guess what I'm saying is parenting is HARD. Go easy on yourself. Others might judge, but if your kids are healthy, clothed, being well educated and cared for...the rest really isn't any of anyone's business. Most important thing is that your kids know you love them--even if they will not always like you.

good luck!

[Ms11]

Thanks GW I can relate to the food stubbornness battles for sure. Your right it is a good thing. I have always thought that them being extremely strong willed, not taking no for an answer, and questioning everything is extremely annoying as a parent day in day out but it should be great if they remain that way as an adult. Massive amounts of determination would be a great asset as an adult! Your right I’ve always had that mentality that I’m their parent not their friend and if something is important or unsafe I don’t care if they don’t like me for saying no. They will work it out eventually that it’s out of love even if they don’t get it now. Thanks for your post 🙂

[Groucho]

Hi there. I could really relate to your post. It can feel lonely being the parent looking after most of the children's needs, especially when you feel your efforts are unappreciated! A lot of what we do as mothers is noticing and responding to our kid's emotional needs. It's exhausting. I'd rather face a mountain of washing up than negotiating with my 13 year old daughter. I would like to remind you that you're doing one of the hardest jobs in the world and the fact that you've posted means you care about doing it well. Good for you. Also, the renovations will be over one day and things will settle down, you and your partner will have more space for each other and the kids. If you make the time to go for a bushwalk or get a massage for yourself in the meantime, you'll be doing everyone a favour by doing something good for you. You're the one holding things together, so give yourself some love. All the best x

[Ms11]

Thanks Groucho your right once things settle down hopefully life will be a little more fun. As a Mum it is true that you take no time for yourself but sometimes it needs to be done for everyone’s sanity 😉 thanks again x