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Single and depressed

Community Member


I'm a 26 year old female - I graduated this year and I'm doing well academically. Despite my achievements, I have been going through endless cycles of depression/anxiety as all my relationships seem to fail. I find I always attract the wrong type of men - the aggressive/possessive/jealous/narcissist type. I feel drained, upset and broken as though I will never end up in a relationship.

I have men compliment me on my looks etc. and I truly dislike it because everything just seems so shallow. I feel as though I just get used then tossed around. My problem is that I'm also very shy and polite. I just feel so hopeless and pathetic. I feel like a failure. All my friends seem to be getting through well - some married/engaged/pregnant/in long term relationships etc. I feel happy for them but I feel as though there is something wrong with me; especially when they question me 'how can you be so pretty and single'. Makes me feel worse.

At this time, I have my eye on a guy I've seen several times at the medical centre. But it stops there. I'm so shy/hopeless that I bet I would never be able to approach him.

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Welcome to the forum,Rihanna.

This is a friendly place with kind and supportive people. Sorry it has taken a while to answer your post. This sometimes happens.

I am sure many people reading this will relate to what you say.

Relationships can be tricky at the best of time, but with you going through endless cycles of depression/anxiety as your relationships don't work out.

I can see you are frustrated by not finding the right type of person you would like in a relationship.

You are not a failure and I do not like using that words. There is nothing wrong with you at all. Some of those friends who you think are very happy may not be and also comparing ourselves to others usually makes us feel worse.

I understand you are shy, but I wonder is there an activity or interest you like, such as walking, sport, singing, art etc that you could join to meet people. I am not thinking of you looking for a partner but just having a social outlet .