Should I stay or go?

[Sophie225]

Ok so this is very shortened version of my life and where I am at. I have been married for over 20 years, and have two children in their early twenties. My relationship started out rocky, with my then boyfriend turning up when he felt like it (no mobile phones back then). Anyway, very long story short, we married. I was 21 and he was 28 when we married, I have only recently realised that I have been putting up with emotional abuse for all of this time. With no physical relationship or affection for many years, I caved about 6 months ago and had a relationship with someone who works for me. It was fabulous at first, then he realised that he couldn't leave his kids so after falling for him big time, I have been in a huge amount of pain which has all been in secret. I know I am a bad person, and this is such a shortened version of what really happened, but I don't know what to do. Do I stick with my husband or not? The other guy is trying to make it work with his wife for the kids - this means that I have to see him everyday at work and the pain I am in is unbelievable having to watch him getting on with his life. I have talked with my husband who says he doesn't want a divorce and we will try and make things better. We have a lovely home, two great well adjusted kids (adults now), and we both have good jobs. From the outside I should be really happy, but I am not. I crave affection, intimacy and someone who actually loves me if they say they do. I know that I can look after myself and the kids, but I am so confused. I don't want to make the wrong decision and split up with my husband if I am still in love with this other guy who continues to break my heart. I am not sure if I am thinking straight. I don't know if the grass is greener on the other side, as I have never experienced the other side until recently and he has absolutely broken my heart. I have a few friends but no one is really able to give me any good advice. I have tried a therapist but all they talk about is mindfulness. Has anyone else been in my position? Do I stay with my husband who I am not in love with and try and make it work and try and find a way to love him, or do I leave and be on my own hoping that I will find somebody someday?

[Hang10]

Hi Sophie225,

Happy Birthday for the other day, I really hope that there was no tears. Birthdays are a special day it your day to celebrate how wonderful you are and life in general.

Your heart is so torn. You miss something in your life, not necessary Prince Charming but someone who can better your life and bring more happiness to it to make you feel more worthy.

I think in your situation, you got no guarantee and while you found other man you been the other woman and this has affected you to whether you stay with your husband or not.

It tough and hope in time answers come more to you and you get greater self happiness too.

Be kind to yourself. Take care.

Hang10.