Sexual Health and the Idea of Never Having a Partner

[Azzdog]

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how to put this but hopefully it will make sense.

I am a 24 year old male who currently is in therapy and sees a psychologist regularly. I have OCD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and when you put those all together, it becomes understandable why socialising is a major problem for me. One major cause of my current situation is the fact that I have never hd a girlfriend or had sex. Because we live in the digital age, it is almost impossible to avoid the fact that a lot of people are in relationships and that modern society is obsessed with the concept of sex. You would almost have to live on a deserted island in order to completely avoid all the triggers associated with it.

My cause of concern is that I have no one that I can relate to on this and that I feel like I struggle to articulate how bad it is for my mental health. My psychologist says that I am well in the normal distribution for young men but that doesn't really make me feel any better. Because I am shy, introverted, and have a lot of hobbies and interests that are not in line with contemporary society, I genuinely feel like I will never have a girlfriend, never have sex, and die alone. This fact alone has meant in the past 6 months, I have had 5 separate stints in a psychiatric ward due to concerns of my own safety. I was wondering if there are any other young men out there who feel the same way and are currently in the same boat, and if there are any young mens health groups around? I feel the latter would be important for me and reassure me that I am not the only one who feels this way.

[HamSolo01]

Gday Aaron

I have been off line for a while. I find that forums can take a fair bit out of me. But I wanted to drop by and say hi.

"hi"

How have you been going? I had a quick glimpse over your last couple of posts. I certainly don't feel like you pushed me away. I also saw that you had a breakdown. I am sorry to hear this. That is hard man. I hope you are managing a bit better with it now. Whatever stage you are at in your MH journey, you are on your way to getting better. I saw that you had a test for autism or something like that? As hard as these things can be, it does show that you are doing what must be done. That is good to hear. I hope you can get it sorted for yourself.

Wherever you are at in your journey now I hope you're managing.

Take care man.

- Mitch (Hamsolo)

[Azzdog]

Hey Tim,

So the assessment was just a one off to see if I had autism. I did really well on the test so I probably don’t have autism. I find out the results next Monday.

The psychologist I used to see at Orygen is one I’ll be seeing in private practice when I discharge. Orygen is a state government initiative and you only have a finite amount of time before you have to discharge. I will be discharging in two weeks.

I will be starting a Meetup group and I have already started a blog of sorts but I will need to come back to it though.

Hey James, they’re all good points. We probably do lack perspective to some degree but it was the tone and lack of respect towards mental health that pushed me over with this friend. He considers physical illnesses as more serious than mental health. They don’t know how to put themselves in our shoes. They can’t show empathy because to them it seems like a really obvious fix.

Hey Mitch, good to hear from you. I am doing okay for now. Discharge from Orygen is weighing on my mind though and it will be a big hole to fix. However I do have ideas to fill that gap. I’m going to a Shakespeare thing on Saturday night and the board games group.

So I went to the board games group and it was pretty full on. There were like 80 people there! I do plan to go next week. I played a game allied fresco and a game called yardmaster.

[smallwolf]

Azzdog,

It sounds like you had a lot of fun at the board games night? And planning on going back next week as well.

Are you going to watch a Shakespeare production/play? Wishing you the best of fun,

Tim

[Azzdog]

Yeah I did, I'l have to give it a couple more goes before I feel more comfortable.

I think it is a lecture on one of his plays actually.

[james1]

Hey Aaron,

I haven't played any of those games. I played a bunch recently too. If you ever come across a game called "Junk Art" you should give it a go. It's very fun and easy to pick up.

What's your meetup group going to be for?

James

[Azzdog]

No I haven't played Junk Art yet. I'm sure the board games group has it though because they have tons!

Yesterday I played Splendour and Tokkaido. Both pretty easy games to pick up.

I would like the meet up group to be for young men who struggle with body image issues and relationship issues, amongst other things. However it certainly won't be happening at Orygen while I'm there, so I was thinking of doing it on my own. However, It is pretty expensive to do it via meet up considering this is not something that will hit the ground running. So I am confused as to what to do.

[smallwolf]

Azzdog,

I will admit that I do not know much about meet up, and you said that it was "pretty expensive". I assume that is dollars as well as time. Have you considered "free alternatives to meetup" (google search). For example EventBrite?

Just a thought,

Tim

[Azzdog]

Yeah its a tricky one. I was thinking about posting an add on gumtree. EventBrite sounds interesting I may give it a go.

I just posted an add on gumtree about starting a band. I am trying to explore musical options at the moment particularly as my last week at Orygen is next week. I am feeling pretty sad about it. The people there have been so great at helping me understand myself and recognise the potential I have. I have always doubted myself primarily because I have, at best, only had indifferent feedback over the years. Hopefully there is a dawning soon and the start of a new chapter in my life. You get a bit sick of being depressed and angry all the time you know?

[smallwolf]

Azzdog,

After you finish at Orygen will you have some sort of support network in place? But it is also good that you can identify some of the positives of your time there. You mentioned they have enabled you to see the potential in yourself. It is amazing when a person, such as yourself, or myself, can turn negative views of ourselves into positive ones.

Om being depressed and sick... Yeah, but it is not all the time for me. It comes and goes in waves. For example, yesterday was fine. But last Sun through Tue was bad. I know the cause for Sun and Mon (didn't help that I forgot to take my ADs, and did not want to double down). But wife said that I have to tell my psychiatrist about being grumpy all the time.

Hope you have fun with your band. Do you have software you can use from drum, or bass or keyboard sounds/tracks? Anyhow, best of luck ...

And Eventbrite was just an example. It might not be the best one. Hence the reference (hint) to a google search as there are other alternatives to meetup. Sometimes you have to hit multiple platforms to get a bite,

Tim

[Azzdog]

Not quite, I am trying to build that at the moment but I don't have it yet.

I've slipped quite badly actually today and I am really depressed and angry. I feel sick about the future to be honest.

I haven't got any replies yet for the band which is disappointing. I normally use a program on the computer for making music.

I have had a look at different alternatives but a lot of them don't have enough subscribers to generate enough interest.