Separation. It's a long road.

[brobej15]

My husband and I have separated. 

It's only been recent. The issues have been for a long time. We've been married for a year. 

We wanted different things in the end. 

He wanted me to fit a mould - house, kids, the town he grew up in and to be his parents. 
I wanted someone who walked with me through life, whatever that looked like. 

I believe you can have stability and more. He just needed stability. 

We expected different things from each other. 

I've reached out to those who love me, I have great support around, sometimes it's just difficult. 
The road is so long, I just hope I can cope. 
I don't know how I can face him again. 
I don't know how strong I can be. 
I've been riding my feelings, taking it minute by minute. 
I just don't know what else to do. 

[geoff]

Hello brobej15, it's always sad when a young marriage develops this way, but at the moment you are riding your feelings on what you had hoped would have happened, but your strength will slowly begin to reveal itself as soon as you start to forget about him and move on.

What you had hoped for was not going to make this marriage the way you wanted because what needs to happen is for the two of you to come to an agreement on what you both want and not to be dictated about what only he wants.

Sometimes we never actually know what our partner wants when are going out with them and only find out when we marry.

I hope you find someone else who loves you as much as you love them.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Healing heart]

Separation is very difficult. If he had a mould - it’s difficult. No one can fit another’s need. There is always give and take. 

I am sorry it’s come to this and separation is needed. 

[Forgive me]

In reply to "I don't know how I can face him again" Is that because you blame him or yourself for the position you are in?

Perhaps try looking for the positives in life at the moment including the things that the father of your children gave you. It's hard to realise all the things that you have, which you may not have had if you didn't get married.  For example, would you have had the experience of motherhood and wonderful human beings who call you their mother? 

I find the practice of waking up each morning and thinking of 5 people for whom I am most grateful in life, the best practice. I learnt it from Dr Sood who gives a TED talk on the 'Happy Brain'.

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you are going through a separation, that must be tough for you and your family. Unfortunately, these things are never easy, and what you have written describes that well. Life has ups and downs, and we have to experience the downs to really appreciate the ups in life. Sometimes you just have to ride through life and know things will get better.

Lots of love

Jaz xx