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Separated, addiction and lost

Community Member

Hi to all, this is the first time writing this so please be gentle on me

2.5 years ago my fiance separated from me and after that I have not coped so well. 7 years and 2 kids he just didn't wanttodoitanymore

I was a nurse who loved her job and it was my passion, I have lost that.

Since the separation I have learnt to cope with alcohol and marijjana (which my x introduced me to). I have been to rehab and detox but has not seemed to help. My past has come up a lot and the pain of sexually abuse as a child, and I don't know how to cope with the pain. I have no family support friendships here. My x has basically had the children for the laSt 2 years and I hate it.

I want to be the confident, successful lady I once was, but I have hit rock bottom and don't know how to get out of it.

I feel all alone, and no one would even notice if I was not here one day.

Please help

8 Replies 8

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Countrygal,

Welcome to Beyond Blue forums, and we will always be gentle to you here, if new or an old hat at this.

I am much going through the same situation you are in, with a few differences but the basics are still the same.

From personal experience, this is a great place to start working through the problems that life throws at us. I have learned how I can proceed in life, to get myself back on track and to get motivated in doing so.

Your situation does seem a lot like my own so I understand how you feel and the things we go through, sadly for me it has taken me 8 years to seek this help, so you are already doing things I should have done many years ago.

Without going into too much details, I would like to know more about what actions you have taken so far, so I can let you know what ways would work best for you.

The help lines are always another way in which you can seek help, additional to this forum, as speaking directly to a person on the phone can help, help lines like Lifeline and such.

Feel free to talk on here about anything, we will always offer a friendly ear, and try and give advice on what you can do to get back to that confident and successful lady you once were. You still are that same person, it is just hiding in there somewhere and we just need to bring it back out.

I hope all this helps, and I do look forward to helping you more and getting through this tough time


Thankyou for your reply terry

I am working with my dr at the moment but I'm thinking of switching. I have a referal to see a psychologist, my nursing registration is in progress but I'll need to do tests to go back to work.

I forgot to add I am also homeless living in a caravan waiting to get a home, which has been 5 months now..

I'm lost and don't know what to do..


I was also homeless for a long time after my ex and I split up, can I ask what part of australia you are in, because I may be able to help you if you are in same area as me, by letting you know where you can go to help you get back on your feet

When I was homeless, I didnt even have a caravan to go to, I was sleeping in my car and such, so I am glad you at least have some better place to stay than I did. I hope I can help you avoid the issues I had while in that time.

Seeing a Psychologist will help, and if you dont feel right with your current doc, then you are right to change, because it is important to find one that you feel comfortable with

Dont give in, happiness can be just around the corner, so dont miss out on it ok?


Community Member

Hi Countrygal85

Your situation sounds similar to mine. I have been a Nurse in the past. Due to a breakdown in my relationship with my ex, my children no longer see me and I couldn't possibly imagine going back to Nursing. I have tried Alcohol to fix my problems without success. I feel the same just want to be the confident hard working person I used to be.

I feel so alone in my feelings.

Hope to talk soon

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Kat75,

Welcome to Beyond Blue Forums.

You may feel alone but here you will always be welcome to speak out and talk about things, we are always ready to listen, and hopefully help you feel better, and get you back on track.

I know how hard it is to not be able to see your children, I know it way to well, I cant say I took to alcohol to fix it, but I did become homeless because of it, and still feel homeless even 8 years after. I am lucky I have friends who have allowed me to stay with them over the 8 years myself, and they have helped me keep together though these times, do you have friends you can speak with? it wont cure it but it helps let you cope.

Dont ever give up hope that the light will shine again


Community Member

Hello Countrygal85's

Thank you for sharing your issue here. Its a positive start to getting on the track. I am glad you are taking steps to get back your life and sanity. You must be a strong person and with your professional background. I am sure you know where to find help. Whatever you do, please don't loose hope as you have your kids to look forward to. Please ring the lifeline and chat to people in your area and see if they can assist you further with accommodation. Please let us know which part of Australia you are so we could provide relevant community assistance. We all face challenging times in our lives and positive thinking may be the first step as we have already make a positive notion of taking action. You need to chat to people and make friends to keep you strong during the process. If possible, try to keep alcohol or any drugs at bay, as they don't really help your situation , but can make matters worst. You are a strong woman and no doubt you will conquer this issue so keep at it and focus on seeing your kids after all this ordeal. I know you can do this, so please stay with us here and ask if you need assistance. so please let us know which suburb your reside so we could assist you further. Keep strong and know we are all here to support you. Best wishes to you always!

Hello Countrygal85, please let me welcome you to the forums.

Your comment has opened up a plethora for many people to reply back to you, that's good because that's what it's meant to do.

When difficult situations have been happening for a long time and you get stuck, not being able to get any help from your doctor nor any family members it's not unusual to start self medicating on alcohol and/or marijjana trying to believe that these are the answers to our problems, that's exactly how I thought, unfortunately I was wrong, but you have to experience yourself to realise that the same problems will be there tomorrow.

Rehab and detox will work for many people, but for some, it works while you're in there, but as soon as you come out, meet up with your old mates or go home to household that hasn't changed, then all the problems come rushing back, so once this happens it's back to our old ways.

I'm very sorry to you and those above me, but one way to overcome this is to completely change your routine, everything you once did has to go, stop doing it, because once you get back into the 'same same old me', how can you possibly be able to change, you're only doing what has put you into this position, you're watering the grass seeds in the lawn, no different than were before.

This is the only way I could change, I turned a full circle, forgot or didn't have the strength to return to what I had successfully done, wasn't interested, so why would I try and force myself back to where my breakdown happened.

If you want you can move house or if you stay then change everything around, if you don't have the strength then see if somebody can help you, and if you are dissatisfied with your doctor seek out someone else, don't try and overcome any of this by yourself, you professional help.

I feel for all of you.



Thank you for reaching out,and Im sorry that you are going through the same thin as me.

I have read he'd out for help, I went to detox and am 11 days sober, itisextreamly hard but nothing compared to what torture I was in.I have also moved into my new home the day I got out of detox. I would love to chat more,