Seeing husband everyday 24/7 drive me nuts!!!
His existence in the house drive me crazy, even his footsteps or the sound of him flushing the toilet irritates me. I don’t think it’s to do with what he does in the house, it’s to do with the fact that he IS inside the house all the time.
I am a very career minded person ( at least used to be before I have kids) if my company close the branch office to cut cost and ask me to work from home, yes, it would be awesome, no commute and more freedom, but at the same time I’d smell the stinginess and unprofitable situation of the company and will start hunting for a new job. However, my husband is very content and have no plan to get out of this comfort zone.
He has always been a very chill out and relax person. When I first met him, I was working in a high stress job plus studying master degree. Meeting him at that time made me feel like he’s Mr. Right, his chill out attitude can calm me down after a hard day at work. Now that I have 2 kids, I just want to focus on my kids and work part time and I hope he can be more aggressive and strive for better career-wise and be the bread winner.
He always say he wants to take the family to travel, but first thing I think of is how can we afford it if he’s not working hard to earn the money?!?
I end up being unhappy everyday, holding a long face both behind and in front of him, especially with him around the house reminding me how obnoxious he is, not to mention khe give me extra work by triggering my kids cry.
I feel like I can’t breath, I sometimes have to take the kids out just to escape from him, and he rarely get out of the house. And it’s not healthy to the relationship when we are seeing each other everyday, it’s just more chance to argue, and I don’t want him to see me wearing pjs or lounge clothes with messy oily hair all the time, and sometimes he sees me sitting on the toilet as I need to keep door open to keep an eye on the kids.
I am so sad that no one can ever understand this, people always say it’s good to have him at home to help look after the 2 young children. What they don’t know is, he always mess up my groove, he doesn’t know how to deal with the kids and always upset the kids and leaving me to settle, he disagrees the way I look after the kids and make comments that upset me.
What can I do to make myself happier?
Thanks for your post and no one is judging you, this space is free for people to express how they are feeling and it sounds like you are in a really tough situation at the moment.
I think the frustration you feel happens in more relationships than people like to admit. Often what started out as a small thing can snowball into resentment and frustration at every little thing your partner does. And I know this sounds unhelpful now that things are so bad for you, but the key can be communicating those small things before they turn into resentments. It's not to late now to try and communicate how you're feeling and like white knight said, relationship counselling can be a really open and productive way to be able to describe how you are feeling to your partner, without him feeling like it's an attack. Lots of people reach out to relationship therapists to resolve issues such as the one above and you should feel no shame in wanting to change an unhappy relationship, I think more people should reach out!
I hope that you are able to find some help and feel free to jump back on this forum to let us know how you are going.
"What they don’t know is, he always mess up my groove,"
This rings Soooo true
You can't play the game without all the right players,
The team effort comes from each individual,
I can't give you advice, I can just feel your stress.
and I don't have kids, Pretty sure I don't want any because what you described is what I'm fearful of.
Having a "lovely goal" thrown at you with no thought put into "how" so it's not lovely for you.
It's like you've been put on hold so he can have a comfortable life? Why aren't you part of it ?
I have these thoughts all the time too so I don't no if I'm going crazy.
All those isolated rejected feelings
It sucks, but maybe my interpretation can give you peace of mind?
Or I could be completely wrong
I have no idea that's why I'm on here lol
Wishing you well