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Relationship or friendship. How I wish I can turn back time..

Community Member

I'm currently an international university student in Aus, in my 2nd yr of studies. Last yr when I first came and settled down, I managed to have a group of friends whom I mix with. In the group, theres 3 guys and 1 girl. I was closer to this guy, lets name him B. We always do assignments together as group. However, sooner later I started to realise he's after me ,i was trying to not be too close to him. At the same time another guy was also after me. Let's name him A. Though I'm not as close to A as B, I was more attracted to A. I tend to ask him a lot more during group works or have small talks with him. However it was at those session, I kind of realised that the other two wasn't really comfortable doing work, or maybe even unhappy or annoyed. At that time I wasn't sure why, I thought I might be thinking too much.

So, sooner later, me and A got together. It was quite fast, we met for < 1/2 yr. I obviously didn't inform anyone , not B either. I'm not sure if I should. it'll be awkward and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be courteous in that sense.

So not long after we got together, I realised one day that B's behaviour and attitude towards me changed in a suden. I felt sth wasn't right. We met up, talked through it. That's when I realised he knew we were together.

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Ally

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue and welcome to Australia. Is Oz living up to all you thought it would be?

I am a little confused by your post. As I understand it you are in a romantic relationship with A. In the past B wanted to have a romantic relationship with you, but you did not want this, and you have recently realised that B is aware that you and A have got together.

This is OK. You can care for whoever you wish. It is sad if someone cares for you and you do not want this romance, but that's life. What is troubling you about this? Do you feel you have upset B in some way? Does he want you to transfer your affections to him? Do you think you should have informed him about your romance?

Who you choose to engage with is up to you and you do not need to tell anyone or ask their opinion. When I was at uni I often worked in groups for different assignments. It meant we needed to be aware of each other's feelings, but there was no need to go out of the way to hide a friendship.

I am not sure if I have answered your question. Well actually, I'm not sure what your question is. Would you write in again and be a bit more specific about your needs?

I look forward to reading another post from you.