Relationship break down and Move interstate

[BugsBunny21]

I recently moved interstate due to my relationship breaking down. I moved to be close to family and friends. I’m also a single mother now and left the relationship when our baby was only a few months old. I don’t know where my ‘home’ is anymore, sometimes I feel like I don’t know where I belong or fit in since moving. Given I’m caring on my own for a baby, I’m not doing things that would have made me happy in the past. It’s adjusting to motherhood as well. Most days I get on with it and my little one keeps me busy but some days I feel quite low and find myself thinking negatively about my whole life. Being in lockdown doesn’t help but I’m trying to make the most of time with my baby. It’s also a time where we aren’t rushing off to be somewhere and getting more time together which I know I’ll miss when my baby is older. I feel like there’s been too much change occur and I’m not handling it. Anyway, be good to here of any advice or people that have been through similar.

[Petal22]

Hi BugsBunny21,

Wellcome to our forums!

Being a new mum is a big change…..it comes with new challenges….

I understand with big changes we can feel unsettled for some time… if you find yourself feeling low I highly recommend you see your gp you could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist…..

im here to chat to you 😊

[Pumpkinella]

Hi Bugs Bunny,

Thanks for sharing and I definitely know what its like to move to a place and feel out of sorts or that you don't belong. When I moved to my current location from interstate I cried thinking it was a mistake and felt like I would never belong. Its very common with moving because we arent seeing the same things everyday that we used to see, so it feels like we are not where we should be. My advices is to consider that while it is an unsettling feeling, it is a temporary one.

Another thing that helped was to consider that nothing is permanent. You are not destined to stay in one location forever, if you feel like in some years like moving again do so. While you are were you are, try to find something easy and local to do and make it a part of your routine. It could be as simple as going to a walk in a nice spot or area with the baby and getting a takeaway coffee/tea. It helps you see the local area a bit and feel more connected.

I appreciate this will be more difficult with a baby so small goals that are achievable are good, but if you manage to do it regularly enough it might help you feel more connected sooner :). When I decided to go for walks around the nearby wetlands where I lived it really changed so much for me, so don't underestimate what small things can do.

Love

Pumps

[BugsBunny21]

Thanks so much for sharing. I agree, it’s the little things. Your reference to not being in the same place your whole life is so true and comforting to me so thank you. It’s just at times, I look around and see how established family and friends are, so I then feel low about that but I know I have time to establish that for us. Thanks again.

[Pumpkinella]

No worries BugsBunny, I know what you mean - I compare myself to friends as well and start to feel bad (no family, no idea what I'm doing lol), then I thought they will be having their own private doubts they contend with. Your words helped me - best to focus on cultivating your own feeling of peace that you will have time to establish. I think you're great and I wish you and your baby a peaceful settling in your new spot xxx