30 weeks pregnant and feeling so low. A FIFO husband who has no time for me and gives no empathy for how I am struggling as he always “has it harder”. I don’t know how to put on a smile or be excited when I feel I don’t have the support. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off doing it alone. It is hard when the other half is spending his only time home out wasting money on drinking and other things 😞
don’t know what I hope to gain from posting, will I feel better when the baby comes or will it be harder with 2 kids to look after feeling alone 😞
thanks for listening.
Wish I was there sitting beside you. As a mum to 2 teenagers, I can still remember those days within my depression and the later stages of pregnancy, when I was fit to burst in more ways than one.
Wondering if you have a dedicated team who are raising you at this time, a group of people who 'show up' for you. Whilst your husband may be basically raising you through financial opportunities provided, what about the folk who provide you with more than just the basics?
- Do you have a GP who would accept the challenge of providing you with a great service regarding mental health care, if that's what you feel you need?
- Do you have family members who can spend supportive time with you in person or over the phone?
- Do you have friends or a close friend who can help you look forward to constructive ways of thinking and managing? Someone who can help you construct a plan for self empowerment regarding certain things?
- Is there anyone who can give you tips on how to raise your husband's consciousness during this time?
I have found over the years, there are some people who will come to the party when we need raising and there are some who won't, for whatever reasons. The ones who won't or can't can include those who aren't conscious in the ways of raising others, those who aren't aware of another's desperate need for help, those who are themselves in a low or depression or those who refuse to seriously care because they're not happy for the disruption to their life.
Is there anyone in your life who would rise to the challenge of raising you? At the moment, you're possibly facing the incredible challenge of raising yourself alone. Whilst this would make you an undeniable champion, it can be tough, being a lonely champion.
Don't discount the power of your first born by the way. Kids have an amazing natural ability to raise us in the most powerful ways. They lead us to both challenge and joy. Whether they challenge us to get out the paint brushes when we barely have enough energy to get up off the couch or whether they challenge us to recognise the gift of unconditional love through a simple smile they give to us, these beautiful folk are incredible gifts of light in what may feel like the darkest of times. They raise us in so many ways and can often give us a well lit path to follow when it comes to recognising the most powerful version of our self.
There are so many challenges posed to a mum, in mind/body/spirit, when we're growing a life inside of us.
I want to send you a big hug (if you like hugs) because it's such a physically and emotionally exhausting time, being pregnant. I know I thought a lot about my relationship when I was pregnant, too. One thing I can offer perhaps, is that when I talked to my psychologist, she said I didn't need to decide right now if it was where I wanted to be. Maybe now is the time to have a conversation with your partner though about what you want/need from the relationship. At a time when you're both calm, just some nice gentle communication.
Gosh, therising has written the most gorgeous response to you, and I hope you find that helpful in thinking about who else can nurture you during this special time.
Kind thoughts, Katy