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Pre teen triggering my own mental health issues

Community Member
Having trouble with my pre teen at the moment. I have PMDD and have found the last 6 months to be the worst time in my life. My child has anxiety, is struggling to settle into high school - not making friends at all, is obsessed with gaming and we are investigating some learning difficulties at the moment. I am being used as a safe place for them to detonate and am often a verbal punching bag and I don’t think i can cope anymore. We have no support nearby to give us a break. Both my partner and I are at our whits end. We have psych, paediatrician and teachers on board but this feels like quicksand.. anyone else in similar position with any words of wisdom. It has really triggered me and I feel like I’m on a downhill slope with no way of stopping 😞
1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear B1B2~

Welcome to the forum, I'm glad you came as you sound at the end of your tether. To have PMDD all by itself is bad enough and I understand how this can affect your ability to cope as well as many other things. On top of that to have the worry and ceaseless stress from the distress and consequent behavior of you offspring is a truly horrible situation to be in.

I'm sure you you have already tried everything you can think of, with teachers, psych and a pediatrician to help, however if transition to school is to blame, with your offspring unable to form friendships this can not be easily rectified, by either your offspring or them. As a result computer games may seem a safe (and interesting) retreat.

If you have not already thought of it perhaps there is something your child is good at or enjoys, from art to sport, and that might be an entry into school society?

Do you mind if I ask if you are under medical support for the PMDD ? Even if so It might be worth seeing if more can be done to relieve you of some of the effects of this condition? You do need to be in the best possible position to deal with this ongoing matter.

You also need 'time out' for yourself to maintain a balance. We found this too.

To be abused and used as a "verbal punching bag", no matter what the age of the child, really needs to be curbed. I do no have a complete answer, however when we were abused and blamed, my partner and I tried to present a united front and also have a few rules, walking away sayng "I do not have to be treated like that" or similar.

No immediate improvement but over time I think it helped.

Another question if that's OK, does your partner cooperate fully with you and the two of you taking turns dealing with problems? Also does your partner have any views on the situation?

I thought to start off with my partner and I could 'fix' things straight away. That did not happen but over time a more friendly relationship did develop.

I guess our other mistake was we did think we should be able to sort everything ourselves and resolve all the problems. This did not happen and was -on reflection -unrealistic. We were blaming ourselves for the virtually impossible.

As time went on other things became uppermost in our offsprings thinking and the problems lessened.

Please do come back and say more