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Potential separation/divorce with a 5 month old

Community Member
Seeking advice on where/what to do for help and guidance for leaving my marriage. My baby is 5 months old and I am leaving due to alcohol abuse. He is a fantastic father but J have out up with this far too long, and now choices he is making is putting her at risk. We own a home together, I am currently on maternity leave, we have minimal savings as we allocated it to allow me to be a stay at home mum. I am at a complete and utter loss as to how to navigate this. I am devastated we have been together 13 years. If he can’t change for his daughter, what will? I love him but I love our daughter more.
3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Lostmum, having a new baby can be difficult to both parents because they have to adjust their lives, but when your husband has an alcohol problem, then you can never be sure how he is going to react when intoxicated, even though he might be a great dad, the situation changes when he starts to drink.

You may still love him but only when he's sober and initially you can ring BB on 1300 22 4636 and talk with these people or lifeline 131114 who can suggest places for you to go, plus there are other people to contact which will be provided if you want these numbers.

A suggestion, with your home you can decide whether you ant to sell it or one of you buy the other person out.

The only way he is going to stop is when he makes up his own mind that he needs to quit, and even if this happens there is no guarantee he will be sober for the rest of his life.

Please get back to us whenever you can.


Dear lostmum1234,
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members.
We can hear from your post that you have been struggling with issues regarding your partners alcoholism for a long time and it is great that you are reaching out for support. Having a newborn under 6 months can be an overwhelming task on its own and we hope that you take the time to recognize all the hard work, dedication, and perseverance you have displayed in being the parent your daughter needs.
We can hear that you feel it is time to plan for you and your daughter’s future and we encourage you to make the decision you feel is best for the two of you, to this regard we hope the information and suggestions provided will assist in making an informed decision.
We have a few numbers and links that we have provided for you, we encourage you to contact and engage with any of these services that you may feel comfortable with. By contacting these services and speaking directly with a counsellor, it will allow you to provide more detailed information and receive advice that specific to your situation and current discission.
As mentioned by Geoff, if you need more immediate contact, please use our Beyond Blue support service 24/7, either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
The lovely supportive counsellors at Relationships Australia offer advice and support to anyone who has been through relationship difficulties and may be able to provide specific recommendations, or resources for your situation. You can contact them on 1300 364 277 or visit  https://relationships.org.au/
A great resource for you to use for help in making those extremely difficult decisions you face is Services Australia. They have guides and links to government approved services regarding housing, finances, raising children and employment. We would highly recommend seeing what services, assistance and support is available specific to your situation and location, while you are processing your decision. You can access this service via their website, https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/
We hope that you find the support and direction that you are seeking on the forums and this aids in the decision you a facing. This is a safe space to share and express your own feelings, struggles and experiences without judgement. Once again, we are so glad you have joined the forums and we hope that you feel welcomed into the community.
Warm regards
Sophie M

Community Member

Dear lost mum,

hope you doing well. I read your story and I feel very sad about it. I’m so sorry for what you are going through especially with baby so young.

im In a similar position as you, except i don’t have any children. Have you left your family home. Can I please ask what steps you took to separate.

thank you, Khusnil.