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Post sex doubts and confusion

Community Member

I initiated a sexual relationship with a long term acquaintance. It was a brave and nerve wracking move as he is very familiar to me in a small town senerio. I am a single mum who has been able to create a loving relationship with a partner for years, I thought I would just create a physical opportunity as I really miss sex!

but, my body backfired. It was an awkward experience and this man has gone from desperately wanting me to being very ‘nice’ without a hint of the sexual urgency he first responded to my text with. My self esteem has plummeted and I was trying to lift it through this experience!! I feel so hopeless as I need a physical relationship and I don’t seem able to get it. As a single mum I feel so alone and unloved.. I feel like I blew it and I feel self conscious and deeply ashamed and embarrassed. Why did my body do this! But more frustrating is the inability to really discuss it with him as I can see he finds my anxiety unnecessaryvto his reality and needs.. I wanted no strings attached sex, now I’m experiencing an isolated frustration and confusion. It’s horrible

2 Replies 2

Community Member

I don’t literally mean ‘backfired’ !!!!!

Community Champion
Community Champion


I can see why you would feel confused and your self esteem has plummeted.

It can be hard when you take a risk that did turn out as you had wanted.

Do you think even though you wanted this but you were not really comfortable with this?

i am sorry you feel horrible.

What would you like to see happen so you feel better?