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Partner self harming during breakup

Community Member

My partner of 3 years and I are separating. I initiated this after there has been multiple occasions where he has sexted other women.
now he knows I’m serious about ending it he has become so distressed to the point of attempting twice and needing mental health admissions. He’s adamant he can’t get better if we are not together but I know it’s not the right thing for me. I have never seen him so broken and I feel such guilt.
he will agree to go to hospital but then get angry and try to get out of the car when he needs admission.

He is also having financial issues with his business and kids - I’ve said he can stay until he gets some things sorted but he agrees and then speaks and acts as though we’re not ending

i just don’t know how to manage this but I do have an appointment for counselling

11 Replies 11

Hi Worriednow17,

Follow your heart because it knows best….

You are a very caring compassionate person……..

I can see you know that there is more than the eye can see….

Community Member

As mentioned my partner and I are separating - he hasn’t taken it well and I think it’s been a trigger for other issues to the point he required a couple of short MH admissions after attempts
he now tells me he knows we won’t get back together but he is struggling to move forward and fluctuates between wanting to be friends or being angry and insulting. At the moment he can’t move as he is unable to afford it.
I have gradually withdrawn a bit from the situation as he relies more on friends and family for support
his behaviour fluctuates and every day I receive a message that hints at him trying to harm himself or end it
i contact someone to ensure they can check on him but I don’t know what else to do.

my daughter also lives with us and I am trying to protect her from the behaviours as well. There is no domestic violence but we both feel uneasy at times to the point that if he is going to be home we will stay somewhere else at least for the next week or so.
Do I keep engaging? Do I acknowledge all his words and offer to help or do I keep my distance!?

he has asked to see me but I have said no at the moment as I’m so unsure of his behaviour. And I have told him that today. His response is to tell me he is turning his phone off