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Not sure what to do

Community Member

Hey everyone my wife an i have been having a lot of issues, basically i have no idea what im doing wrong, i work a week away at a time to meet our financial needs but every step i take is the wrong one when im home im on eggshells. I work long long hours an when i get home our child is my resposiblity while im home, i cannot go to see friends as she dislikes them all, i am told im hopeless at doing anything because i cannot clean the house and do things as quickly as she does them also she has told me why should she have to do anything while im home if she can do it while im at work i can do it all while im home

if i cannot make decisions as to what to eat or planning what to do for the day she calls me a idiot and argues. It could be a quick make up your mind you idiot or a im not talking to you today.

I have noticed she will not get off her phone some nights just disappearing to bed an leaving me alone .if i try an talk while shes on it the phone takes priority.

We are trying to find a car to replace our old one but because she cant have what she wants everything else is irrelevant an its my fault i cant buy it for her. I have explained we cannot afford it and we need to buy a cheaper car but its not good enough.

It seems everything i do is just not good enough but she gives praise to her friends husband for what he does.

I just can't keep up with the jones.

Im burnt out an lost, im not sure what to do.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

That's so difficult Zackbarc, I'm really sorry you're going through work stress, dealing with the long absences from family, and finding a lot of stress at home as well. That sounds like a very difficult lifestyle, so painful for you walking on eggshells and feeling criticized. Its not what you would hope for when you have to sacrifice so much to keep your family fed.

The only general comments I could offer, is sometimes people `Act out' (behave badly), if there's something important bugging them they cant put into words, or they feel they can't change the situation. Was she behaving this way before you had to work away from family? Or did it get worse because of the work?

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Zack, sorry to hear about what's going on with you and your wife. Have you tried something like couples counselling? That might be ideal for you as you can usually go and see one on the weekend. I'm sorry to hear she's calling you hopeless, it sounds like rather mean and abusive behaviour, have you tried voicing to her how it makes you feel? I would really recommend counselling, I think that could maybe sort out some issues for you.