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Not feeling the Christmas spirit and lonely during the holiday season

Community Member

Hi all,

I feel guilty for feeling this way, but does anyone else feel lonely during Christmas? I don’t have a huge family at all, I am an only child and only my mother is around. No extended family around either (Aunties, uncles etc). It’s even more difficult because I don’t get along with my mother very well and my only family are my friends, but they’re busy with their own lives.

Nothing about Christmas is lifting my mood. Decorations, food, lights, gifts and evening saying “merry Christmas” doesn’t feel right. It’s just another day for me.

I am also currently in a relatively new relationship and my partner is spending Christmas with his family, but I’m not joining. It’s too soon. It’s almost as if I’m envious of the tight knit family he has, as he’s close with them all.

I just don’t know how to process this.

5 Replies 5

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Waterfall21,

I am sorry you are feeling this way, if it helps the festive season can always be a difficult time for people. You are not alone. Could you attend a friend's Christmas? My family always invite friends who are from overseas/don't have plans and love to have them, I am sure your partner's family would too. Christmas is a time for spreading love and cheer.

Overall, it is just one day and it will be over soon...and really it is just a normal day...it doesn't feel like Christmas to me either.

I am sorry you feel this way but you aren't alone.

Stay strong,


Hi Jaz,

Thankyou for your kind words and advice. I know it will pass eventually.

Take care

Hello Waterfall, I'm sorry but definitely understand how you are feeling how Xmas time can change so much for anybody at any time, one year it might be exciting, then the next year it can definitely be the opposite.

You don't know at the last minute your new partner may suddenly ask you to join his family, that would be a lovely surprise for you and if I was in your position that's what I would be doing, I wouldn't like you to be lonely at this time of the year.

Xmas time is for children/kids the big countdown until it's 2 days before the big day until the night before and how excited they are.

Again this year I'll be seeing my son, while the other one will be bringing up his 2 daughters, aged 9 and 7 a week after Xmas and that will be lovely, until then it's just another day for me, my son and I don't drink so there are no 'cheers'.


Community Member

Hi Waterfall
Can relate with you.

It's my first Christmas in a decade where I am single. We always celebrated Christmas with my grandparents on my dad's side. Sadly they have both passed away. My parents are separated too so that adds to the disjointedness of things. I'm doing Xmas eve with Mum, and X Mas day with my Dad.

I really cherish my Christmas memories from when I was younger, it really was such a magical time.

It's just not the same anymore, but I'm grateful to have family to spend it with. I guess this is part of growing older perhaps?

Community Member

Hi waterfall21, know the feeling exactly, having lived alone for many years, much of the time I find the constant barrage of Christmas quite depressing to the point where I will turn off adds and Christmas music as it brings back memories of more cheerfully times. I don't have a massive group of friends and most are remote. Not sure if it's normal but emotions are a constant roller coaster and what I've found to help the climb back up is to step back and look about at others who suffer and in reality I don't have to look far. Helping others out is one way I find lifts spirits when I'm down and at the end of the day the "festive" season skips by fairly quick. Keep occupied as much as possible and hang in there.