No one to talk to

[SecretIdentity]

This is difficult for me, I’ve never had anyone to talk to... my husband says he can’t deal with me when I’m like this and I’ve never spoken to anyone about my troubles, I’ve always dealt with them myself. I try to be positive, but after several tough years I’m really struggling. My second child was born a number of years ago and about a week later I found out that my husband had been talking to other women online and had met one of them. We talked about it after I found out and I decided to stay although he said he would understand if I wanted him to leave. I am trying so hard to make everything work but can no longer broach the subject as I’m told that effectively I should be over it, or if I can’t he should just leave. A year after my second child was born, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that I will never get better from, but I’ve had to deal with that on my own too and I have to admit I struggle with it as much as I do the issues with my husband. I love my husband and children deeply, but if I have any issues, I have to cope alone. Having two small children is challenging as I’m sure we all know, trying to work and dealing with my illness (which has resulted in quite a big weight gain and I feel very unattractive because of it) has left me feeling isolated, lost and coping with very low self esteem. I guess I just want someone to talk to. I was raised to deal with your own issues and having a husband who can’t cope has left me very isolated (we made a big move several years ago so I have no family here)... what do I do, so lost....

[Doolhof]

Hi SecretIdentity,

We all require a sense of belonging, being accepted, having our issues validated and recognised and feeling like someone cares. It is tough when we don't feel like that is happening.

I can feel sense how you are feeling. Throw in the struggles you have mentioned and it is understandable you find yourself in a tough and undesirable place.

When we are depressed and struggling it is difficult to put actions into place that are going to help us. I am struggling myself right now with various issues, so know what it is like truing to find purpose and menaing and motivation o do things that will help.

Are there any clubs, groups, meet-up gatherings or other activities you can join to help you meet other people? I know that is not always possible either! Especially so if you are working and have small children.

Do you have hobbies and interests you can try to become active in?

Trusting someone after they have hurt yo is not easy! I hope you can find more peace with that situation.

Are there activities you can enjoy with your children to add some extra joy and happiness to your life?

There is a social zone here you may want to connect with as well. There are lots of topics on all kinds of things.

Hope you feel welcome here!

Cheers from Dools

[Fallen_apart]

Hi secretidentity,

Im sorry I can't offer much advice other than talking to your gp as a starting point and/or counselling with your husband if you haven't already. Both can help a lot.

my partner did a similar thing meeting people she found online until she finally found another branch to swing to. I can sympathise with you in how that feels, its absolutely horrible. I was not without my own issues at the time but I was made to feel like the situation was my fault. Please don't feel that way if you are, like me you have chosen to try and forgive and persevere with your marriage and that makes you an awesome person.