I married my first wife when she was only 19, me 29. I had no idea she'd turn or expose her narcissistic traits some years later. Silence was her most effective weapon, in fact it led to my only attempt on my life...one week later I left the family home. That meant leaving my children with her and having fortnightly weekend access.
As my kids were then 7 and 4yo I had to endure my ex every time we conversed about our kids. The body language, the minimal words, the refusal to allow things like my kids coming with me for parent and teacher night's...all these things were a constant battle for a further 14 years till my youngest reached 18.
What kept me going was my dreams. A life without my ex, my own home, my kids visits. So when the child support stopped, so did my contact with her, a short letter "please never contact me again."
That was 10 years ago. My girls now 27 and 31. My youngest sympathized with her mother and I have zero contact. My eldest is close to me.
You can survive a narcissist. Be strong and wait for that moment when you are at peace. That came a few years ago when my eldest married.
Are you doing ok in separation?
TonyWK
