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My weird relationship problem.

Community Member

Hello all,

I was hoping to get some advice with something I've been struggling with for some time. It's gonna be hard for me to take about, but I really don't know what to do, so I hope someone helps me with this.

So basically, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 months now. Shes way out of my league; she is- accomplished, intelligent, funny, radiant and not to mention downright gorgeous. I'm literally the opposite of her in terms of attributes, yes, I mean that I am fugly and dumb.

That gets me questioning why she even likes me. I feel like if she were to ever cheat on me or do anything bad to me, I probably wouldn't even care because I feel like such a 'peasant' for my feelings to even matter.

The issue is it doesn't sit well for me and I am having second thoughts of continuing this relationship. Is it chauvinistic for me to say that I want a girl on the same or lower level as me? (attribute-wise, socioeconomic background...etc.) Am I bad person for saying that? Why do I even feel this way?

I hope I haven't said anything offensive or wrong in anyway, I kind of struggle to tell. I'm interested to see if anyone has had any experiences like this or can help me.

Thanks guys! šŸ™‚



1 Reply 1

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi karim

A lot of the times we're going to see our self differently to how others see us. Perhaps you underestimate what a good judge of character your girlfriend is, which may explain why she's so attracted to you. Another factor which may explain the attraction comes down to a strong belief of mine - we are attracted to those who hold some key when it comes to how we unfold at a deep level. Whether you give your girlfriend a significant sense of grounding, bring out her natural creative side, help her reach for courage inside herself (the courage to be herself), make her heart sing in some way, help her voice her natural self in a semi-artificial world (through her interactions with you), help her see a natural vision of herself in the future or simply make life feel like heaven on earth, if you want to know what key it is you hold, perhaps consider asking her.

If you're assessing intelligence and looks based on society's standards, please don't. Today's social standards really grind my gears, can't stand them at all. Whilst skin deep beauty and the ability to sell our self based on our education may appear as attractive, in my opinion real attraction is based on how someone helps fuel our evolution. How they help 'bring us back to life' in the most attractive, beautiful soulful ways is the purest and most divine form of attraction.

Try your best to remain curious in regard to your role in her evolution and her role in yours. May sound a little overly romantic but when we open our mind to seeking the deep hidden treasures within another, every relationship becomes and adventure shared. There is gold in you karim, I just know it. Your girlfriend's gift to you may be the ability to help you find it.