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My partner is so low & we are falling apart.

Community Member
Hi all, this is my first post, whilst this is not primarily about me, I have suffered from clinical depression in the past. My partner was hiding alcoholism from me when we first met, and when it became apparent he was drinking himself to death, I intervened & brought him to my place & with his consent helped him access some services which led him to a medical detox in hospital. He was so grateful & I supported him unconditionally as I love him deeply. When he got back from hospital I encouraged him to utilise AA, and he was euphoric & felt a great deal of support & acknowledgement from the group. About two weeks later everything started to change, he started isolating himself & shutting down completely, not eating, showering, all the tell tale signs....he accessed the GP who put him on anti depressants. He has pushed me away so much, and while I am trying to understand & empathise with him, I am hurting too, and don't feel I am allowed to have a voice as it's all about him & his recovery.....so I ended up lashing out, and trying to be heard but it's made things even worse. I am trying to be here, as I lost a healthy relationship years ago due to a major bout of depression myself. I'm trying to leave him be, be gentle, however it's getting unbearable & I fear it will get to a stage we can't recover from this? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


Best advice I can give is get in contact with Alanon. It's for family and friends of alcohlics.

30 , 60 , 90 days then 6 month, 12 month, 2years is commonly the hardest for anyone in A.A. If he has a sponsor he needs to contact them. If not see if you can get him to a meeting. A open meeting anyone can attend so you can go with him.

Depression is sadly common with alcoholics and sadly a few A.A do not believe in taking medication but it says in The Big Book story Alcohlic Addict written by the joint founder Dr Bob that we can.

Oops going into program mode....sorry 17 years sober tends to have me preprogrammed.

Thank you!

Yes, I am definitely thinking about going to

Al-anon, it's just there are few & in work hours. But I'll get to one:)

Congratulations on 17 years sober! And thank you for the reply:)