Dear Essbee,
Welcome to Beyond Blue, and well done for both reaching out, and for coming so far in your journey! It sounds like you certainly have worked hard to get to where you're at today. You should be very prould of yourself! I feel proud of you, even though I don't know you, because I know how hard it is to rise above the agony of anxiety and depression that is so debilitating.
As for what your Mum said, well I too would be hurt if someone said that to me, about me. Particularly knowing how much work you have put in to getting better.
Alcohol is/can be quite the terrible elixir ..... so seductive, and yet so poisonous at the same time. People say and do things they would not ordinarily say and do when sober. As you can see by my name - Soberlicious - I too know the pain of hearing/saying awful things to loved ones. People think they're being funny when clearly they are not. Alcohol changes the chemistry in our brains and affects people in a wide variety of ways ....... some are more equipped to handle it than others.
My suggestion; take what she says when drinking with a 'grain of salt' ...... in other words, it may well have been quite difficult for her to watch you go through what you went through, but maybe it was more because she could have felt quite powerless to help you? And unfortunately, by trying to express that frustration while under the influence, it has come out very badly.
Remember, you know how hard you have worked and how far you've come. And keep up the good work! Maybe, if she remembers what she said, she might apologize in time? And if not, again, remember, the booze is nobody's friend. Not that I have anything against people drinking, but drinking to excess more often that not brings more trouble than people realize. And perhaps if there comes another time when she's getting stuck into drinking, take it as your cue to leave.
You're doing so well, don't let this one incident set you back.
Hope that helps at least a little. Take care. xo
