Hi
I have been with my husband for 23 years, all of my adult life. We've been married for 13 of those years. We have always been a great couple, we love all the same things, and we had built a great life with each other and our young sons, age 5 and 9.
My entire world turned inside out and upside down 3 days ago. I found out that on the day he had off from work he visited a sex worker in the city. He told me he was getting a hair cut and was looking around for a bit before picking our car up at the service centre. While he was arranging to meet her, at her apartment, collecting the keys to go in, he was texting me at the same time with just general chit chat.
I am floored, gutted, unable to understand why and how he could go through with it.
Its not his first time. He has admitted to doing it 5/6 times, over the last 18 months. He understands now that it was wrong, but when he was first caught out, in all of the discussions following, he didnt actually say sorry and he just kept telling me he didnt actually have sex with any of them, just other stuff. As though that made all the difference.
Hes a great dad, Ive loved him for as long as i can remember and i cannot cope with the thought of a life without him, but I beleive this is the end for us. He has left the family home, and I am still talking to him to try and piece all of this together.
This month it was twice, one week after the other. It was starting to become more frequent when Ive discovered it. The last time, a few days ago, he was very relaxed and happy at home that night, with us, and the kids. More happy than usual, talkative, having fun with the kids.
Its all hard, some things more than others. The betrayal and the lies, and the fact it went on for so long is hard for me to accept. He wants to try counseling, but i dont know if it is worth my time.
I don't think this is someone that will change and that deserves his family now. But it is very hard after 23 years to give up on the future, on my childrens future with their dad. Of course i would never stop their relationship with him, but they are already grieving the things they know will never be the same without him here like he used to be. Its very difficult to see them suffering.
Any advice anyone has would be helpful.
