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My girl best friend of 8 years cut me out of her life because her boyfriend doesn't like me

Community Member
Hi guys, I'll try to make this as short as possible. This girl and me have been best friends for almost 10 years. We met when we were teenagers and we're together sexually early on but not sex just sexual contact. Things never went anywhere after that but she has always liked me but our friendship got stronger over time. We've been there for each other during break ups in relationships and we can openly talk about anything because we both feel comfortable around each other and it's a great feeling because it's hard to find decent people or so I thought. Fast forward to the present, she started seeing this guy (she's 23 his 31) she told me it wasn't serious just fun and then it got serious, and I was happy she found someone. Turns out he treats her bad, his physically assaulted her, tried to chat women up behind her back, even left her to go back to his ex who he has a 5 year old son with, his never met me, but resents me just because of her friendship with me. She stopped talking to me at the end of last year after I sent her a Christmas message and a few months later we started talking and she told me he didnt want me talking to her then in May, I sent her a screenshot of the first time her and me spoke and she didnt reply but he messaged me virtually saying we have a past and I'm ruining their relationship and I need to back off. I messaged him saying he was a hypocrite for trying to ruin our friendship and told him another terrible things she told me he did to her but said I'm her best friend and she loves you he read the message but didn't reply back. I gave them space because she's pregnant to him and I haven't heard from her since but the weekend before that she came over and we had a great time and she showed me the bruises on her arm from him hurting her and she told me she was done with him. So today I thought how come I haven't seem her on facebook recently? Turns out she blocked me even though I haven't talked to her since May. I wished her a happy birthday a month ago and she liked my post. Just not sure what to do because it's made me angry and depressed because I really do value our friendship but and I just fighting a losing battle with her boyfriend hating me?
2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Walto17,

It is hard to let go of a friendship when we don't fully understand the circumstances, we don't like loosing contact with people we care for. It must be hard to see this relationship happening with your friend, especially so as it sounds like she is being abused by this guy.

I'm not sure there is anything you can do to change the situation. The other guy obviously does not want you to be a part of the girl's friendship group anymore.

Trying to push your way back into the girl's life may make the situation even worse for her. I guess if you really care for her, you can be open to receiving a call from her if she happens to make contact with you.

It can be hard to say goodbye and let someone go.

My other concern is for her safety and well being!

Cheers from Dools

Community Member

Hey Walto

First let me say outright that the presence of bruises on her arm and the fact that you have seen them raises questions. You must report that to the police. If you believe her welfare and safety are under question then you have a good reason to report it.

Then if need be, don't contact either of them

You want your friend to be safe. She may not like the fact that you've reported it to the police, but you must. Especially if she's showed you.

The fact she blocked you on social media does suck. It makes you feel bad. But you're not a bad person here.

Just ensure you do the right thing please.