My Dad just got engaged...

[Galactic_Gizmo]

So my parents are going through a divorce and i am the only one of three kids who is still talking to our dad.

Well i just found out today that he has gotten engaged. Ive never even met her. Ive attempted to contact her and she has spoken with me briefly on a couple of occassions, but she has never made an effort to contact me in return. (Yep he was dating her while my parents were still married).

She seems like a lovely lady. I think i should be happy that he is happy, but i just feel....weird.

My mum doesnt know yet. Its going to be a disaster when she finds out.

I guess being 7 months pregnant with an anxiety disorder probably doesnt help my emotional state. I don't know how to react.

[Galactic_Gizmo]

Hi everyone,

Sooo alot has happened since my last update.

My Mum and I have talked a couple of times now and are back on good terms.

My Dad called mid last week and I let fly at him. He pretty much apologised and agreed that he didnt think through not talking to us.

He then called on Saturday and said the they had gotten married on the Monday. Eloped really. And are planning to have a celebration early next year so that we can be included.

Im disappointed that he didnt tell me when I spoke to him, but at least he put the effort in to try to make things right. He even called my brother and told him and organised me to tell my sister for him (she isnt on speaking terms with him).

Unfortunately his new wife decided the best way to tell my mum was to send her a picture of the marraige certificate. One guess as to how that went down....

I'm tired of being angry and upset. I'm just emotionally exhausted. Now I'm just tired, and embarrassed about the whole situation. How do you tell people your father divorced and then remarried in the space of a week?

I was going to ask my ob for a referal to see my psycologist yesterday, but my anxiety made me chicken out. Ill work on that.

[MsPurple]

Hi Galactic Gizmo and thanks for coming back to keep us updated 🙂

I am glad you and your mum are back on good terms. I think she was just frustrated and possibly embarrassed by the whole situation and lashed out on the wrong person. I'm glad you guys have sorted everything out.

As for your dad. I'm glad you are speaking but sorry that he eloped without telling you beforehand. I'm sure there were better ways to handle it but hindsight wasn't there. I'm glad he is putting in an effort to make it right for you and your siblings, but it isn't fair for him to ask you to be the middle man. You seem like you have enough on your plate. I hated being the middle man between my parents and my brother. I had to talk to them about it and how it caused me great anxiety and they since stopped. Maybe you should let your parents know you don't want to be the middle man and they have to make more effort to get in contact (e.g. text, call, fb, email or post, there are ways).

As for chickening out for a referal to a psychologist. I can't tell you how many times I had this happen to me. The way I didn't chicken out was to 1. tell a friend I had booked an appointment and they reminded me to go, kept me accountable and 2 when I booked the appointment I ask the receptionist for a mental health care plan appointment (or you could say for a psychologist referal) This way the dr knew why I booked the appointment and if I couldn't bring it up they would.

How is your pregnancy going? Getting close now 🙂 make sure you look after yourself first and not focus too much on your dads new marriage.

MP