Hi Sara14, I am very sorry that you have lost your wonderful man. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. Grief is an unpredictable beast, I do know that it has a nasty way of coming back on us just when we think we are over it, and that first anniversaries are particularly well known for this. A good friend of mine who lost a husband and a subsequent partner said that she is not 'over it' in the sense that you forget it ever happened, or the hurt goes away completely, but that the perspective changes over time. She has come to accept that these men were in her life, that in one case they raised children together and she has become grateful for the time they did spend together, even though it was much shorter than she would have liked. She has since found someone else, and while the feelings are never exactly the same (we always fall in love with different people for different reasons) they are just as valid. You can't imagine moving on right now because you are still grieving, and that is perfectly understandable. All you need do for now is just listen to that small voice of reassurance that says you will go forward from here. 'How' might be too overwhelming a question for you right at this second. but you honestly never know how life can change and what can be just around the corner. It's great that your boss has been so understanding to grant you the leave that you need. Have you considered seeing a grief counsellor?
