Looking for others experiences talking to loved ones about your mental health?

[Jack2021]

Hi guys,

I've been a part of these forums for a few days now, but I feel already its making a huge difference in my management and recovery of severe depression, stress and anxiety.

Without rambling or going in depth of my own issues which isn't my aim of this thread I guess, I was wondering what opinions, advice, and/or experience all of you have had in regards to talking to friends, family, and loved ones about your mental health?

For me, even though I have suffered from depression about 6 months now, it has been very slow and gradual, however becoming quite severe and debilitating since around Xmas and new years of 2020/2021, lots of feelings of hopelessness, lots of sadness, lots of tears, no suicidal thoughts thankfully, but just a general lack of desire and passion to live life.

My parents, 2 close friends, and wonderful girlfriend of 6 months are really the only people who have known about it, though since last week I am trying to get as much help and support as I can from others, with my counselling finally resuming next week, and enrolling myself in a online mental health well being program that is set to start this week hopefully.

One of my recent major concerns is with my girlfriend, I have the closest relationship with her than anyone else, and trust her the most, therefore I share a lot of my troubles with her, which I am so worried about, as I don't want it to be pulling her down or worsening her mood, as I have already seen it happen twice the past 2 weeks, when I was dealing with very severe anxiety and depression and breaking down quite a lot, it did affect her wellbeing seeing me like that

As a result of this, as much as I'd love her support, I think I'm better off not telling her so much and instead talking to my counsellor and the forums here, as much as It pains me to do so...she is the most wonderful girl and is so supportive and mentally strong, but I can see it is affecting her talking about and trying to help with my issues...

Have other people been in similar situations here? I have tried looking for other threads with this sort of topic, but came up with nothing, would love to hear from you guys 😊

[sunnyl20]

Apologies for not replying sooner...

I'm really sorry you are struggling to see much hope and that things are feeling so rubbish right now Jack. I hope that you are able to find some light in the darkness this week, even if they are just small things - look after yourself and do or plan something that you can look forward to.

You are right, there is no permanent, guaranteed or speedy solution, but things can change, it might feel slow and painful but there is hope. Please reach out as you need. Take care.

[Guest_4643]

Sorry my reply was short Jack, I wasn't sure what to say & was doing something at the time. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

[Jack2021]

All good sunny, no worries at all

Thank you for the kind words, that I am trying....to find that light and find those small things I can look forward to doing..I've been with my girlfriend/partner all weekend which has helped a little bit, but at the same time really doesn't help all that much anymore...as much as I love her, I realised that, in the kindest of ways, it isn't enough, and isn't healthy for me or her, for me to just to have her as my only light in life...I can't go on thinking she is all that matters, and then not have her in my life everyday....I need something else, because even if she was (e.g. if we were living together) I'd be far too much for her in this state I'm in I'm sure...but that's another issue/worry in the long list of issues and worries....

Thanks so much sunny, that is my only hope..that it can change... Thank you so much, I will be doing that too... I have my first counselling session back (since Xmas) on tuesday, then also on tuesday I am meant to be getting an "assesment call" for this wellbeing course from mindspot..no idea how that will go, but I'm wanting to get as much help as I can...

Thanks so much, take care as well, I hope you've had a good weekend 😊

[Jack2021]

All good mb 😊 funny enough I was in one of those exact situations yesterday in one of the threads,
I guess sometimes we don't always know what to say..even though it seems I'm always posting paragraphs and paragraphs of rambling thoughts, but it helps me emotionally to let it all out I guess...

Thank you for the kind words, at this point my life honestly feels
like a never ending drama show, but a super depressing one where the main guy just gets rolled over 24/7...never been suicidal, but I just find it very hard to have any passion to live life these days....even on "good days" when I'm not depressed, I still have no idea what my purpose in life is, and I have nothing to look forward to...it just sucks..

[Guest_4643]

You're welcome, and yes that's true. I don't want to say the wrong things and give bad advice to people. Some threads I want to reply to but idk what to say since I haven't been in that situation, such as marriage and relationships, and stuff with children. I feel sorry for anyone with mental and physical health issues, worldwide.

I'm sorry, I've been suicidal for years but I just get thoughts, I don't act. I'm safe right now.

[Jack2021]

Mmmm yeah I know exactly what that's like, some issues I see are a bit too tricky for me to know what to say as well, of course I'd always offer kind words if they asked, or if I felt I could, but other times I think it's better to let someone with more knowledge and/or experience there to give more relateable advice...like with marriage and kids, I've been in relationships and been around kids, but never been married myself, or had kids myself...so I'd feel like I couldn't give the best advice, as opposed to if I was to give advice to someone going through anxiety and depression, which I've gone through for a very long time now, only finally getting professional help for it now, when it's gotten a lot worse the past 6 months

I absolutely feel the same way...so many people (including me before this journey) just take their mental health for granted and while I guess that's not necessarily a bad thing, for me, it's just shaken me to my core knowing that while I was never perfect or 100% in life, I was generally happy in life and enjoying most days, and that world I lived in just got turned upside down and inside out.....nothing I see these days looks the same anymore, and virtually everything I used to take pleasure in doing (e.g. games and hobbies) I now look at with a hard indifferent stare, since when I try doing them, I get no happiness and enjoyment any more...only sadness and frustration out from past memories having the time of my life doing this sort of thing, and now nothing....


Damn that must be hard, I'm so sorry to hear that...glad to hear you're safe now at least, though I know that might not help much me saying that, but it's good you're safe and having more time in this world, more chances to work on yourself, and more opportunities to get better in life physically, mentally, and emotionally....I know what thoughts can be like, and it's just very damaging sometimes, but I think we have to see them for just thoughts, and be glad that were not acting on anything or doing ourselves any harm....

Anyway so sorry if I rambled on that point for a bit, things like that are very personal issues I'm sure, but if you ever want to talk about them, I'm here to help and listen the best I can (just as I'm sure everyone else here is too)

[Guest_4643]

Hi Jack.

Yeah I get what you mean, and thanks. You didn't ramble on, all good. I'm here for you too.

[Jack2021]

Thanks mb 😊😊
thanks so much, it means a lot 😊😊

[Guest_4643]

You're welcome

[Jack2021]

Still struggling a lot..still depressed a lot...getting issues now that are a bit too private / personal and too specific in nature to post about in here without it being obvious to passers by (friends and family) as to my actual identity.... relationship and communication issues mostly...never been so good at either really so that never helps

Had my first counselling session back since Xmas, that didn't go so well at all despite me looking forward to it and thinking it would help, didn't help at all pretty much, no solutions or even help in any issues I had really, not quite sure going back again will be the best thing for me now...

Only positive I've had in recent days i guess is that I've actually gotten around to actually applying for jobs in the other industry I want to work in, no replies yet, but not many jobs I have applied for so far....

Just wishing life was easier...